"This too shall pass..."

"This too shall pass" is a phrase that I have heard so very often since the day that I became a Mommy eighteen months ago. Sometimes hearing that phrase frustrated me, a lot of times it encouraged me, and so many time it has been so true. In time so many difficult things (for the moment) have worked themselves out, and I have been left to wonder why I spent so much of my time and energy stressing about them (and confession: googling them. I have google searched just about everything under the sun at this point...) There are a few difficult-for-the-moment things that I have weighing on my heart and mind currently (some things never change), and I know they too shall pass just like all the others. I have pondered questions the last eighteen months like: Will he ever sleep without a swaddle blanket?, Will he ever sleep without his bed for reflux babies?, Actually, will he ever just sleep?, When will he give up the pacifier?, When will he want to stay in the church nursery without crying?, Will he ever go a day without spitting up?, etc. and the list could go on and on (and that list is just of James-related things. oh my!)

This (my mysterious this of the moment) too shall pass, just like all the others. I tell myself that over and over sometimes and some days when I need more convincing. And I pray, pray, pray. And I ask the Lord if I truly was the right person for this job of raising this sweet boy, and then I thank Him that He allowed me to be his Mama despite of all the ways I surely fail and will fail in the future. In eighteen months of parenthood if I have learned anything it's that there is definitely no formula for parenting. There is no 10 step fail-proof method to follow, and sometimes that's difficult to swallow for such a by-the-book, rule follower like me. Every child is different and every mother is different. And as my mother-in-love reminded me recently, we all come into our parenting journey from different places and with different experiences which can't help but influence our choices and decisions. And the Lord knew that this journey would challenge us, change us, and refine us and require us to look to Him every step of the way. He wanted us to seek Him in how to best reach the hearts of our children. And surely He wanted us to learn about peace, patience, gentleness, self-control, etc.... all of that and so much more.

So as I ponder and pray through all of this, I know that it really is true and surely "this too shall pass." This morning I have felt God reminding me of His great love for me. I have heard Him whisper so clearly to me, "I am for you!" He knows me better than anyone and surely He understand how much I need to hear it and be reminded of it. And I know that whatever seems like an obstacle now will probably be just a distance memory in the future. So I pray that I would just embrace today and not worry so much about when or how everything will work itself out. I just want to celebrate little victories and cheer on baby steps. "This too shall pass" but until it does I just want to cherish the moment and the now. Something else will always be around the corner (a new challenge or concern), but I will never be able to do today again and so I just want to rest in this moment, this day, and this gift because I know this too shall pass.




And if this was sounding oddly familiar, I wrote something very similar about 6 months ago here. But you really can just take my word for it! And I am sure if you went digging even further you would probably find yet another very similar post. :)

At 18 months old...

I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that James is now 18 months old! And maybe that's why it has taken me almost 2 weeks to get around to writing an update on James' life at 18 months... But denial or not, he is 18 months of typical, toddler boy and we are soaking up our time with him and all the fun that this phase brings. :)

Wearing: some 12 month and some 18 month shorts, 18 month shirts, and 24 month one-piece outfits. He is wearing size 6.5 shoes (with a little extra room for now). He is still wearing size 4 diapers.

Growth: We went to his 18 month checkup a few weeks ago and he weighs 26 pounds, 3 ounces (55th percentile) and is 33 inches long (70th percentile).

Sleeping: On average he is sleeping about 11 hours at night and a normal nap is about 1.5 to 2 hrs long in the afternoon (he usually goes down between 12:30 and 1). We also just switched his crib to a toddler bed because we caught him half way in and half way out one too many times (making me a nervous wreck), but he loves it and is doing well with the new change.

Eating: We talked with the doctor about some of James' trouble with eating at his last visit, and the doctor said that it was normal for a child/toddler with reflux to have some pain associations and texture aversions as a result of the reflux. He is still very particular and prefers foods that are either very soft or crunchy (and dissolvable). Meat is still something that he does not want to eat (although he did eat two little bites of chicken for the first time this week which is progress!). We continue to see gradual improvement, and are just praying that he will be eating a much larger variety of types and textures of foods by his second birthday so that we do not have to get any type of further intervention in this area. His favorite foods right now inclue: yogurt, cheese, milk, a variety of fruits, crackery/crunchy foods, pasta, and steamed peas.

Teeth: His top two molars have just started making their grand entrance, making that 12 teeth total now. We are praying for a break from teething soon! We all need it. :)

Vocabulary: His vocabulary has really taken off lately, although he is much more talkative at home than he is around others. The doctor asked me to tell her some of the words that he was saying at his checkup a few weeks ago, and it really put me on the spot so I decided to come home and start keeping a list of words as he used them. I think the list is around 50ish words that we've written down just in the last week or so, and the doctor said he may be saying 100 or more by his second birthday! Some of his most frequently used words (at least, this week anyway...ha!) are: please, thank you, ball, go, "choo" (train), airplane (with an emphasis on the air!), Dad, woah, back, toe, bye, and bike. He loves naming body parts, identifying familiar objects, and also loves repeating so many things that we say! It is so cute to hear him talk! :)

Interests: He continues to love to move - he runs, climbs, explores, loves pushing and riding on his rocket, etc. all day long. He is all boy! He loves being outside and spotting birds, butterflies, caterpillars, flowers, trucks, dogs, and airplanes. He loves all kinds transportation - watching it and playing with cars, trucks, and trains. Thomas the Tank Engine has become one of his new favorite shows. He loves reading together (especially on our bed or his), and he loves music. He has started to show an attachment to one of his stuffed animals over the others (Buddy the Dog that we made with him at Build-a-Bear last summer). He loves things that he can hold in his hands (shovels, kitchen utensils, measuring cups) and wants to have something like them in his hand all the time. He also enjoys playing with blocks and balls. He enjoys coloring and playing with stickers now. He loves watering the flower that we planted with him, and he asks to water it ever day! He has also really started pretend play and mimicking: folding clothes, vacuuming and sweeping, trying on all of our shoes, and pretending to talk on the phone. It's precious!

Happenings of the Summer: We visited family in Alabama in July, we visited with family at Myrtle Beach at the beginning of August, we got to enjoy the pool at the Y with an extended guest pass this summer (long story!), enjoyed getting together quite a bit to play with his friend Carleigh (and my friend, Sarah), took his first Kindermusik class and we had so much fun as a family (his birthday present to me),  his second haircut (and no tears!), we turned his car seat around finally, big boy bed, and much more!

Personality: He continues to be a little reserved at first but friendly once he warms up to a situation. He is extremely active. He is very curious, and he has a lot of ingenuity and is able to figure things out for himself (how to reach a ball under a cabinet with another object or how to press buttons on the TV and remote until he finds a show that he wants, etc.) He is very persistent and sometimes strong-willed. He is happy and affectionate. :) And he is perfectly wonderful because he is our little boy...we couldn't love him more for exactly who he is!

Just a "little" (as always) update on what our sweet boy is doing at 18 months for those of you that are still reading! I knew there was at least one Nana and maybe a few others out there that would be interested in all the details. :) Thanks for loving and praying for our little guy!!

More "official" 18 month photos coming soon! :)

Something to think about...

I read this post today on one of the blogs that I follow and just wanted to share it as well. Same, More, Different

It was one of those posts that left me with a huge lump in my throat trying to fight back the tears, and it may have the same impact on you as well (especially if you are a mother of a little boy or a mother to a little boy all grown up). I especially loved the perspective and the reminder of the importance of my role as my son's mother: "We try, even in the middle of our sinfulness, to give our sons a role model for choosing a good wife. Men forge manhood - but we, in our roles as wives and mothers, are the role models for our sons' future wives. We try to be what they will one day want in a wife.

If we're wise, we realize that we give them their first glimpse of womanhood. We realize that as they grow up under our tender mothering, they will one day need a tender mother of their children. We give them a picture of what to look for.

That is a sobering task.

I have often asked myself over the years if I would want my sons to choose someone like me. Would I want them to have the kind of wife that I have been for their dad?"

Something to think about...and pray about. I know it is inevitable that someone else will steal my little boy's heart one day and so I pray that I am positively influencing now his future decision.

Letting go...

Dear James,

Today at the playground I let you go down the big, windy slide by yourself for the very first time. I climbed up behind you to the very top, and the hardest part was just letting you go because it seemed like such a long way to go all by yourself. But once I did, you had so much fun and you were so proud of yourself! We clapped and cheered, and you climbed back up the stairs and did it over and over again. You're almost 18 months old and already there have been so many moments like that one. Moments of letting you do it on your own - letting you go, little by little. And motherhood is certainly about trying to find the balance between knowing when to let go and when to hold on. It's such a tough but wonderful, worthy calling! And even on the days that I get yet another glimpse of how quickly you are growing and I feel my heart ache, I know that I would climb mountains and swim oceans for the very privilege of being your Mama. Thank you for letting me hold you close, and thank you for being patient in the moments that it takes me a really long time to let go. But I do them both, because I love you!

Love, Mama

P.S. And if you were wondering, I was nearby the whole time. And I always will be - just incase you ever need me.

25, 26, 27...

25... 

 26...

 

and now 27 candles!!

For some reason this year more than any other, I am officially feeling old...well, at least older! ha! :) I used to hate when I was growing up that people always thought I looked younger than I actually was and often times younger than my younger sister. Even during mine and Stephen's first year of marriage and in my first teaching position, parents often thought that I was an 8th grade student rather than a teacher. And my first grade students would all go home and tell their parents that they thought I was a teenager! :) But now as I look at pictures from yesterday's celebration of 27 years, I think my age is finally starting to show and catch up with me. Maybe it has something to do with being a mother now (indefinitely behind on sleep, forevermore caring about someone else's wellbeing before my own, or having approximately 7.2 minutes to get ready in the morning), or maybe it's just more life experience, or maybe it's all the summers of lifeguarding and NOT wearing sunscreen (oh how I wish I could take that back now!!). Whatever it is and regardless, I am thankful for 27 years on this earth (recently appearing sunspots and all)! And I pray that God would grant me 27x3 more years! I am thankful to be loved by a thoughtful, caring husband. He is my best friend, and I would not want to do life with anyone else. I am thankful for the privilege to mother the most wonderful son in all the world. I am thankful to be loved and unconditionally accepted by the Most High King! I am thankful for family and friends and a million other things that make my life so blessed! I am thankful for 27!

Tidbits and Highlights :)

We had a great sermon yesterday morning and I just wanted to share a few of the highlights. Many times I stay and help with James' class because he is still having trouble staying without us (especially on mornings when he has 3 molars coming in - yikes!!), but his sweet Daddy stayed with him yesterday morning.

The text was: Acts 11:27-30 and we really focused on the disciples not only making a vow to give to those in need during a time of famine, but also following through with their vow (vs. 30 - four important words, "and this they did")

The focus of the message was that the Gospel makes a changed life, and that if we are not changed are we following the wrong gospel? Do our lives reflect a change?

And a few other points that I wrote down:

- At times believers are called to do more than just tithe. Grace calls us to do even more. (This is very convicting for me. During these seminary days we are, of course, on a more limited budget than we will be in probably other seasons of our life, but that does not mean that we can not give according to our own ability as the disciples did in the above verses. If we are truly changed, we should be giving (of our time, money, resources, etc.) to those that are in need.

An excerpt from a book by Tim Keller (Generous Justice) that I loved: When you come upon those who are economically poor, you cannot say to them, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" because you certainly did not do that spiritually.  Jesus intervened for you.  And you cannot say, "I won't help you because you got yourself into this mess," since God came to earth, moved into your spiritually poor neighborhood, as it were, and helped you even though your spiritual problems were your own fault.  In other words, when Christians who understand the gospel see a poor person, they realize they are looking into a mirror.  Their hearts must go out to him or her without an ounce of superiority or indifference.


I also loved this quote by Amy Carmichael: "You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."


And I have always loved this verse as well:

⁸ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly^[a] with your God. Micah 6:8

(Our pastor also pointed out that justice in this verse is not necessarily about giving people what they deserve. Thankfully through Christ we do not receive the punishment that we deserve!)

There are so many that truly are in need around us both physically and spiritually. Our pastor also shared that "the only thing worse than being lost is being lost and no one is looking for you." I pray that I would not be so consumed with self that I would be constantly praying and looking for opportunities to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I pray that I would give even more (as grace compels us to give more) of my self and my resources. And that Christ would be glorified through  our family.

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

And one more kick in the pants today...a really good read!

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)