Costumes and Costume Changes :)

When we initially asked James what he wanted to be for Halloween, he would go back and forth between a Venus Flytrap and Frank the Combine Harvester from Cars. I know those sound like unique choices, but that quality is one of the things that I love most about James! We knew that we would clearly have to make either of those choices (which we were okay with since we had always pulled things together to make his costumes every other year up to this point anyway), but when we learned our church's event would have inflatables we encouraged him to pick something that he would be able to move around in a little easier. He decided on a shark which was another good choice, because he loves sea animals. We found a good price and decided it would probably be more economical just to buy his costume this year.

Since Jude is so little this year and would mostly be spending his time in the baby carrier, we decided to let him wear the giraffe outfit that James wore his first Halloween. (James has said for a while that giraffes are his favorite animal, so I thought it would be fun for him as well.) I was able to get a few, sweet pictures of them out in our yard before an event at the library that our neighbor (who is a librarian at a different library) invited us to.

He just kills me with all that cuteness.

You can see James dressed in the same outfit in October of 2010 here.

One adorable little shark!
(Sometimes he says he's  just a regular shark and sometimes he says that he's Bruce from Finding Nemo.)

And then last week, we decided to take the boys to Boo at the Zoo on Stephen's off day. None of us had ever been before. It turned out that there was only one day that the zoo was having the event on a night when Stephen was off (since our "weekends" are Tuesday and Wednesday), so we decided to take advantage of it. James decided right before we went that he couldn't be a shark since our zoo does not have sharks. (He can be so stubborn, but he always has a logical reason behind it!) We decided that it wasn't a battle worth fighting, and we let him wear grey clothing, his Alabama jersey, and his Big Al hat. He told everyone that he wasn't "Big Al but just a regular elephant." I thought he looked very cute, but we kindly told him that he would have to wear the shark costume outfit from here on out! Ha! And since James had a costume change, we decided to dress Jude in a white sleeper and polar bear hat that we already had as well. I felt it was appropriate since we call him our "Jude-y Bear" and our "baby bear." :) And I snapped a few more pictures in our yard...

"Baby Bear sighs under Mama's soft touch. And Mama Bear tells him, 'I love you so much!"
(All the Ways I Love You by Julie Downing)

And this little stinker got a ridiculous amount of "extra candy" at almost every table that night, because everyone was so excited about his Alabama attire. They all asked him to say "Roll Tide!" I guess his persistence paid off... :)

An October Assortment

I haven't really had a chance to write much this month. Between preschool choir, Awana (which I'm teaching several times a month), Bible studies (for both Stephen and I), our weekly story time at the library, play dates, BFIAR (James' preschool at home), extra fall festivals and activities, Stephen's crazy work schedule, and just the business that daily life brings, October has been a busy month for us! So I thought I'd just take a minute to share a little assortment of pictures from the month of October so far. I've also gotten a few precious pictures of the boys in their halloween costumes, but I'll save those for a later post.

John Deere onesie from Granddaddy and Nana

Jude is joining us at the table now and we'll introduce cereal in a few more weeks. :)

Matching Pajamas! 

The only way James would let me get their picture together before church was if I would be in it.
The South Carolina longall and matching pants for James are from Nana and Grandpa.

We made a cave under the kitchen table for the book Angus Lost (BFIAR).
James slept inside it for his nap that day. :)

A Lightning McQueen pumpkin from one of Daddy's coworkers. 

Matching Jack o Lanterns before story time. (James only wanted the picture if I would be in it with them...)

On Being "Real" and a Four Month Update

Several months ago, I was browsing at Cracker Barrel while we waited for a table when one of the employees began to engage me in conversation about Jude. She commented on his hair, asked me how old he was, and offered the typical "congratulations" that most strangers do when out in public with a relatively new baby. Then she said, "I don't know how you wear him in that thing. By the time my daughter was born, I was so ready to have her off of me." The "thing" she was referring to was the ergo carrier that I've used almost daily since Jude was born. (Just for the record, I'm in no way trying to be a spokesperson for that product or pushing a parenting choice; it's simply just been a huge help to me in being able to best be hands-on and meet the needs of both boys. It's what has worked for me.)

She wasn't being judgmental, and I wasn't offended by her comment. I understood what she meant, and I recognized that she had made the comment in a joking manner. I'm sure she just expected a little laugh out of me, and then she'd go about her day. Unfortunately (for her), I'm not a big "laugher." (I know that sounds awful, but Stephen and I recently had a conversation about the fact that I don't always laugh at his jokes. I explained that it's not that I don't think he's funny, but I'm just serious by nature and it takes a lot to really make me laugh out loud. I told him that I'm usually just laughing on the inside. :) It sounds like an excuse but it's true!)

 So, anyway, I guess that day I must have just "chuckled on the inside," and then I added "Well, if it makes him happy then it makes me happy." I could tell right away that she was afraid that she had offended me, and she began stumbling over her words trying to recover. And I was clearly no help since I am so serious, and trying to diffuse a situation with humor, on my part, would clearly be an epic fail. Anyway, I'm sure you're getting the picture. It was quite an awkward situation...

And then a few weeks later, I had a conversation with a lady that asked if I stayed at home with the boys and then responded by saying "I don't know how you do it. It would be hard for me to go all day without having conversations with real people." Once again, I understood the message she was trying to convey. She wasn't trying to be hurtful or judgmental. In fact, she went on a little later to "commend" me in what "must be very difficult," and I commended her for being able to balance the responsibilities of work and family.

I mention these few isolated events, but, honestly, I'm sure just about every mother has had a similar conversation at some point in their parenting journey. Or had a hostess at a restaurant inquire jokingly, "A table for 2 and a half?" And, let's be honest, a day where a baby is acknowledged as "half" is often better than not even being counted in the total at all. I'm not trying to nitpick or be overly sensitive. In fact, I'm sure I've made a similar comment at some point and likely will again. It's just that as I reflect on these conversations in light of the last four months with our little boy, the truth is that while at times I might feel stretched, I never have been ready to have Jude "off of me." And, while my boys are smaller and younger than I am, I don't feel like my days aren't spent with "real people." They aren't "half" or less of a person. They are just little (but very real!) people. A new baby may feel surreal for a little while but after a few explosive diapers, sleepless nights, and public temper tantrums, there is no denying reality. And, on the other hand, a baby that smiles from ear to ear when you walk in the room or a three year old that asks to hold your "soft, lovely hand" (a snapshot of my reality this week!) are sweet moments that are wonderfully real.

What I've come to realize after almost four years of my days spent mostly with my tiny little men, is that my responsibility to them and my conversations with them have grown and sharpened me more than any other job ever has. They have made me more, not less. Time spent with them is good for my serious soul. Their laughter is contagious. Their lives exude joy.

 Real joy.

And that joy is evident to me in all of the little details of life with Jude at four months old:

Growth: Jude weighs 16 pounds, 11 ounces (73/%) and is 25 inches long (54%). He is wearing 3-6 month clothing and size 2 diapers.

Appearance: Brown Hair (that I think will eventually turn blonde like his big brother's hair) and Brown Eyes

Sleep: He still seems to take short catnaps during the day with one longer nap in the afternoon while James naps. His longest wakeful stretch is in the evening before going to sleep for the night. He was sleeping up to 8 hours at the beginning of the month, but has regressed to sleeping 6 hours at most before waking. I feed him when he wakes up (It just kills me to hear one of my babies cry for me and not respond to them, so I know that I will just continue to do so, like I did with James, and know that eventually he will sleep all night.) and he will sleep for several more hours. 

Eating: He is nursing about every 3 hours during the day. We will probably introduce rice cereal around the five month mark and then begin to introduce other foods as well. Our doctor suggested as a guideline that he be up to eating 2 meals a day around 6 or 7 months and be up to 3 meals by 9 months. But if he's not, I know from experience these things have a way of working themselves out so I don't feel pressured or rushed. I will follow his cues to find the best balance for him.

Personality: Jude continues to be extremely easy-going and content. He is so alert and attentive to everything going on around him right now. He smiles at everyone including strangers. I often look behind me when we're out in public and realize that he's looking over my shoulder to smile at people (usually women). He's a little charmer! He will occasionally cry when he can't see me and someone else has asked to hold him. He is continually blowing bubbles, kicking his feet with delight, and just so happy about everything. He is extremely ticklish and laughs every time I change his clothes. He adores James and watches his every move. James loves that Jude is enamored with him and constantly says "Jude loves me! He loves me so much!" :)

Voice: He "talks" all the time and even screams. When he babbles, James thinks he's saying "Mama" or "no."

Movement: He's rolling over from front to back and back to front, bearing weight on his legs very well when pulled up to a standing position, and is very easily reaching and grabbing for toys to usually put in his mouth. He has also found his feet this month.

Health: He is spitting up quite a bit, but he doesn't seem bothered by it. Our doctor said spitting up tends to peak at this age. He still has a blocked tear duct that we are trying to massage to avoid him having to have it surgically opened (our doctor said at around a year it would be necessary). After being sick with his first cold this month, his eye was getting glued shut daily from all the drainage to the point that the doctor recommended bringing him in to rule out an eye infection. He also seems to be in the beginning stages of teething and his gums are starting to swell a bit. He is really a healthy baby and we are so thankful, but I'm recording these minor issues to note in his baby book when I have some time to work on it.

Milestones/Other: We have now made the transition to cloth diapers (with the occasional use of disposable diapers for church and overnight) which is so much easier than I could have expected. Jude is enjoying the exersaucer now, and he can sit with us at the table in his own highchair (a seat that attaches right onto the table) for a little while now. (I want him to be sitting a little better before he starts actually eating or sitting with us for long periods of time.) He took his first trip to the pumpkin patch this month. Mama and Daddy also bought him a little stuffed bunny (from Goodnight Moon) after Mama read The Birth Order Book (which made me want him to give him an animal that we had picked out just for him since all of his other toys were handed down.) He loves his bunny and already wraps his little arm around it. He is starting to enjoy peekaboo this month. He also wore overalls and jeans for the first time. He hasn't really had a babysitter yet except for staying in the church nursery one Sunday night for about 30 minutes. He is also getting special one-on-one time with Daddy every other Sunday night when I teach James' Awana class at church. The weeks that I'm not teaching, he usually just sleeps in the ergo carrier the entire time while I help in the class. 

You are our little joy, Jude. You are exactly what our family needed, and we praise God for these last four months with you. I could not imagine life without you. I love you forever, Mama

You're the Best Song

I love the written word. I love the way that words sound when they roll of the tongue and the distinct smell of a book. I love dog-earing, underlining, and getting lost in a story. I just love everything about the experience of reading and writing. 

I was the girl that spent Saturdays snuggled up on the couch with a good book devouring page after page. And I always packed a book in my suitcase when I spent the night with a friend, just incase I woke up before them. I always did.

 I journaled my way through my adolescence. I cringe when I read some of the things that I wrote about, but it was a more than acceptable outlet for expressing my teenage emotions.

And now I blog and continue to journal - only now it's mostly about my babies. I knowingly overuse parentheses and misuse commas, but I don't care about any of that. I'm just writing for me. James may not care that he mastered the skill of buttoning on September 29, 2013 one day and Jude may be completely indifferent to learn that he rolled over on September 14, but it will always matter to me. They are the culmination of all the small things that made up the years spent with them. I want to remember every step of this journey. I write to express how profoundly this gift of motherhood has impacted me and changed me, and yet there never seem to be words quite adequate enough to covey how much it means to me and they mean to me.

One year ago today we found out that we were expecting our sweet Jude, and I remember wondering, as I held our firstborn in a field of pumpkins, what life would be like one year later. And now exactly 365 days later, it's just all the more wonderful. My hands are full. My days are full. My heart is full. There's nothing that will ever mean more to me.

October 2010:

October 2011:

October 2012:

October 1, 2013:

I'll never write a song for them. At least not one that would ever be recorded or heard outside the four walls of our little home. (I have actually written quite a few early morning lullabies while we rocked.)

But if I ever did or could, they would be my very best song:

Ushering in Fall with the Pumpkin Patch

We have all been getting a little stir-crazy having been cooped up (mostly) inside since last Sunday with someone in our family sick every day since then. Now that everyone seems to finally be turning a corner, we decided to get out and get some fresh air while Stephen was off. I was itching to do something fall-ish, so we headed to the pumpkin patch on the very first day of October. There was only one other family there (I guess I might have been a little overzealous!), so James was able to just run about freely and had the best time. It was a great day!