Reflecting

I'm sick today. I've been sitting in our chair and a half (that is really big enough for 3) that we bought for Christmas last year surrounded by piles of kleenex, a thermometer, glasses of water, and covered in blankets. I've been napping throughout the day while Stephen is working and trying to pick up some channel, any channel with the rabbit ears on the TV in the moments I've been awake. Stephen called Pastor Keith early this morning and told him I didn't need to come in today. I'm glad he is my voice of reason sometimes when I just think I should keep going. I don't know why I do that. Sometimes I hate to admit that it's probably more out of guilt or a sense of needing to please more than anything else. It's something I have asked God to change in me through the years but it is definitely a process. I really needed this day to just rest and not feel the need to do anything at all (even though I was looking forward to my shopping plans tonight) and after a day of just laying around and reflecting I am thankful for even this day. 

I am an introvert. I was painfully shy as a child and wanted my little sister to be my voice whenever possible. She was always happy to ask the questions I wanted to ask or communicate

the things that I wanted to say although probably not as delicately as I would have done it. In middle school, I communicated my words and thoughts through writing more than anything else. I kept a journal of my thoughts as probably most middle school girls do. I changed a lot through high school and college. God pushed me into opportunities that challenged me and grew me (and they were almost always involving being in front of big groups of people). I got a degree in early childhood and elementary education and had to teach and be evaluated constantly on how I presented myself in front of people. Last year when I taught first grade I have never been so drained from every school day of being extroverted and longed at the end of the day to just be alone. I have always loved people and considered myself to be friendly, but if given the choice I would choose a meaningful conversation in a coffee shop with a friend than meaningless chatter at a party with tons of people. I appreciate the opportunity to be real and transparent with others. I am constantly seeking these opportunities out and thankful for when they happen - little moments of joy in an regular work day! Now, I serve as a children's ministry director and I find myself needing to be in front of people once again. I am thankful that God chooses to use all different kinds of people with all different kinds of personalities to communicate the Gospel. When I look at my life and the way he has chosen to use me, I know that anything I have done has ONLY been because of Him. I also think about my three summers of serving as an M-Fuge Track Leader (leading groups of 6th - 12th graders) and doing many things that were way out of my comfort zone like dancing on stage each week in front of 100's of people. I just have to shake my head, laugh, and think "wow, God has surprised me with all that He has allowed me to do." Anyway, my being introverted was not the point of this post...

A day like today is great for an introvert. I sat around in this chair that engulfs me reflecting, thinking, reminiscing about days gone by, and looking at pictures of people (some that I had been very close to many years ago now) and thinking about how life changes. So many of my old friends are married now, some with children already or children on the way. My heart also broke today as I thought about marriages of friends that have ended shortly after they began. 

I thought about people that I thought I would be friends with forever and recognize how our lives gradually grew apart. I thought about family and family relationships. I thought about moments that I thought my heart would break from sadness and loss and how God worked even those for His good. I thought about life and where I am now. I thought about my marriage and how much has happened in  just two years together. I have never been so blessed as I have in these two years. I thought about how the decisions that we make can change the direction of our lives (and what I would be doing had I made choices that were different) and how God has ordained it all. I thought about the past, the present, the future, and the One that holds it all. Maybe I'm overly sappy today because I ended a difficult semester of seminary (another thing I never thought in a million years I would be doing), maybe it's a fever or head cold, or maybe it's all the cold medicine I've been taking. Whatever the case may be, I have enjoyed thoroughly my day of reflection. It has not left me longing for the past at all but only excited about the present and the future ahead of me. I am thankful for God's word and Jeremiah 29:11 that says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." I can rest knowing that that every single day of my life is before Him and even though it may be far different (far different but far more perfect) than I expected, each day is a wonderful day lived in Jesus Christ. And the days are really not always what we expect, are they? Today there's snow on the ground in New Orleans and 70 degree skies in North Carolina. 

Thanksgiving Travels and Stephen's Birthday

The month of November was exciting and very busy. November was my (Kassi) first full month as the children's ministry director at Good Hope Baptist Church. There is so much to do but I am so happy that God has placed me there. I am excited every day to wake up and spend another day serving alongside of some very wonderful people. I have also loved getting to know the precious children and their families and realize what an awesome responsibility and privilege that I have to share Christ with them. Here is a picture of my office. It has changed quite a bit since this picture because I've decorated and even added a little child's couch and chair!

 We traveled during our Thanksgiving break (we had a week off from seminary) and were able to see Stephen's family in Alabama, my Dad at his house and extended family, and my Mom at her house and extended family. We were able to spend about a day and half in each place but it was definitely not long enough! The week went by so fast but it was great to see everyone. 

Stephen turned 24 the day after Thanksgiving! This was our second time to celebrate his birthday as a married couple and he is already forgetting how old he is. Every time he was asked I think he answered with a different number. I know without a doubt one highlight of his birthday this year was getting a Wii.  I feel I can say that with certainty as he is playing the Wii right now as I am typing this post. I really wanted it to be a surprise for him but the one time they were not sold out in stores (we had walked by that aisle in Target and Walmart for months just to look) we were together and I didn't want to risk coming back and find that it was gone already. It's so fun to give Stephen gifts that really make his eyes light up with delight and act giddy like a little child. Here is a picture of him holding and hugging his Wii clearly very giddy about the gift.

There were many people that made Stephen's birthday this year very special. Here are some pictures of us celebrating with both of our families.  

Here is Stephen with a few of his gifts.

These are a few pictures from Stephen's birthday celebration in Alabama.

Here are a few pictures as we continued celebrating in South Carolina.

This Thanksgiving I encouraged every child in the children's ministry to live a life of gratitude and it has allowed me to reflect on all that I am grateful for as well. I am thankful for many things but one of the things that I am most grateful for is my husband. I am so thankful as I think back over this year of marriage at all that God has done. Our first year of marriage was a wonderful one and this second year has been just as wonderful. Has it been hard? Incredibly! Both of us working full-time to pay our way through seminary, taking classes and studying every free minute that we have, starting over in a new place and truly wondering what else we could cut out of our budget before food so that we could pay the bills. This year has come with tears, prayers, and seeing firsthand how God provides in his perfect timing. I'm so very thankful for these early-twenties, hamburger helper, chick-fil-a coupons, 20 hours on a chicken sandwich assembly line for extra money, rabbit ears on the T.V., Goodwill furniture, laundry mat, rent paying, little air conditioning and little heat, seminary days. I would not trade these memories for anything in the world. I have loved every single minute with you, Stephen. You are my best friend and I would marry you over and over again. I thank the Lord every single day for letting us take this journey together. Happy Birthday!

The next post to come will be Christmas decorations... I've spent way too much time already on this one and we have two more exams to study for before Monday. Please pray for us as we finish up the semester! And then no more school until the end of January!