A picnic in the park and lessons in parenting.

(I wanted to take a minute to reflect on my two most precious gifts this morning (my husband of 5 years and my sweetest little boy that is 26 months old today!) and remember a special day that we shared together as a family. The last few months we have felt God so near to us, although we have been in a bit of a holding pattern and God's direction and next step for our family has been unclear. I just want to express in the midst of waiting and seeking His direction for us, my gratitude for the family that he has given to me.) Here are some lessons that I have learned through them:

Parenting is a ride like no other.

There are moments that feel like a walk in the park. 

And there are those moments/days sprinkled in, too,
when you just want to hide your face and start again tomorrow...

leaving you wondering just exactly how you stack up as a parent 

to this little person that God has entrusted into your care.

I've learned there are many tasks you do over and over again.

Like fixing shoes, 

and fixing meals 

(oh, and some meals are more relaxed than others, for sure), 

and organizing and reorganizing. It's just part of it.

 But it's good and it's growing.

There are wild moments...

and testing of the waters. 

And there are some days that I feel like I'm running around 

like a chicken with my head cut off.

(i.e. mid-shopping trip melt down)

But I'm running after a little boy that is running full speed ahead

and every day for him is a new, exciting adventure to be had. 

And so I'll keep "running".

Because I don't want to miss even a single second of this crazy adventure.

I am Stephen's wife...

and James' Mama. 

And I am exactly what I always wanted to be. 

I may not have everything this world has to offer, 

but I am loved by the two that are 

everything to me in this world. 

I am rich. 

And I am thankful.

Number 5!

This year began a journey of becoming better and stronger. And I know that we are and will be. And so the celebration means so much more. It's a year that we will never forget. 

Our official anniversary picture/pose. You can see the others here and here. :)

Remembering

Today I am remembering this song that Stephen's friend, Nathan, sang in our wedding five years ago tomorrow. With all the variables that five years of marriage and life can bring, I can rest in knowing that Jesus is our one, true constant in it all. And that (and He) is worth banking your whole marriage, your whole self, your whole life on. This song means even more to me now than it did five years ago. And so do you, Stephen. Much, much more. Happy 5th Anniversary (tomorrow)! I love you!

Four Years!

Stephen and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary tomorrow! I know I have written some very sappy (and lengthy) stuff in the past here on the blog on that day (and valentine's day and pretty much any other day that I wanted to declare my love for him...), so I won't get too gushy this time. ha! But, I can't let our anniversary pass without acknowledging how blessed and thankful I am that Stephen is my husband. He is even more than I dreamed of or prayed for in a husband. And even four years later, I am in awe of the way that God's hand guided us to each other at just the right time and what an absolutely perfect (for each other) husband God prepared for me. He is loving, and kind, and incredibly patient, and always looks for practical ways to be a servant in our marriage. He is my best friend, the one that knows me better than anyone, and hands down the one person I would always want to spend a day with if given a choice. This past year as new parents has only deepened my love and respect for him. Stephen is a wonderful father. James, of course, adores him and I am beyond thankful for the very present Daddy that I know he will be to James (and all of our children) through the years. I love him. And there aren't words adequate enough to express just how much. Happy 4th Anniversary, Stephen!

March 24, 2007 - Our Wedding Day at 12th Street Baptist Church in Gadsden, Alabama.

March 24, 2008 - Our first anniversary celebrated with a trip to Daytona Beach, Florida and a yummy seafood dinner. :)

March 24, 2009 - Our second anniversary celebrated with a trip (a few months earlier) to Asheville, NC to a cute little B&B before the semester started and dinner at the Melting Pot on our anniversary.

March 24, 2010 - Our third anniversary celebrated with a one month old and an anniversary lunch (table for 3!) at The Rusty Pig (a yummy BBQ restaurant in Glennville, GA) and a prayer for a decent night's sleep. :)

Stay tuned for details about our fourth anniversary celebration and an oh-so-similar picture. Tomorrow won't be too exciting because Stephen has class and work all day after pulling two all-nighters in a row finishing his Theology term paper (and won't be home until late), but we are going to try to squeeze in a little "linner" during one of his breaks (table for 3 again...I know, I know!). But we are going to make plans to celebrate (just the two of us) very soon. Pray for me in advance - James and I haven't spent too many moments apart this past 13 months. But I am very much looking forward to a much needed dinner for two very soon though. :)

For my Love

There is a very special someone in my life that has not been getting nearly the blog time that he used to since our adorable little man entered the scene a little over a year ago now. So, since it's Valentine's Day it only seemed natural to devote a little time on the blog to my love and my best friend. :) Hope you enjoy. :)




I have always been a hopeless romantic. I'm not sure when exactly it began or if it's just the way I've always been. I just remember from an early age reading books and watching movies about fairytales with princesses that always ended in "happily ever after." I loved to watch the prince and princess end up together and just knew that I was going to have that...one day. I couldn't wait to find my prince for my prince to find me so that we could "live happily ever after" like I always dreamed. :)


My prince did find me. In the Spring of 2006 while I was a senior in college. (He was one of few very serious boyfriends that I had, but unfortunately I did date some "frogs" before our story began .) Our first correspondence wasn't a love letter but a facebook message (oh, the joys of modern technology!). I don't remember what it said exactly but it was mostly small talk about how we would be working together that upcoming summer at M-Fuge Philadelphia. I was actually supposed to be on staff at a different camp that summer, but I was moved to the Philadelphia camp which started later so that I would still be able to be a bridesmaid in my friends', Brad and Libby's, May wedding (Thank you precious Brock's for letting me be a part of your special day for multiple reasons!).


Our first meeting was actually a few months before camp. My friend, Jamie Lee, and I were interviewing for teaching positions in Alabama (very close to where Stephen happened to live) and I agreed to meet Stephen for lunch at Zaxby's to get to know each other better. My prince drove up in a white honda (not exactly the white horse I had envisioned but, hey, close enough) and I guess as the saying goes "the rest is history." We didn't hit it off right away. Not even close. I was so oblivious and missed basically every, single signal that Stephen tried to give me to show that he was interested. But I am actually thankful for the way it all happened - thankful for the solid friendship that we were able to build over the next few months and in just the right time I found myself head-over-heels, crazy about Stephen and didn't even know how or when it had happened. We began "officially" dating in August of 2006 and were engaged on December 8, 2006. We were married on March 24, 2007. I think that classifies as a "whirlwind romance!" I know some people probably shook their heads and said that we didn't even know each other (and maybe that's true), but we made a choice on March 24, 2007 and a commitment to God to love each other through it all and to fight for our marriage. And to never give up.


One day during our engagement while browsing a Christian bookstore, we came across a stone plaque in the shape of a shield. It had a cross in the center with the words "Be Strong in the Lord" etched on it and the words of Ephesians 6:10-18 etched around the cross:¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.


Stephen made a comment about how much he liked the plaque, and I made a mental note of it. (I have learned over the last 4 years of marriage that if he tells me he likes something to be sure and remember it, because he doesn't ask/hint for things very often.) As our wedding day approached and I was thinking about what I should give him for a wedding gift, I knew that I wanted the gift to be meaningful and something that he would treasure for years to come. I remembered the stone shield that he had shown such an interest in that day in the Christian bookstore. I went back and bought it and wrote this poem to go along with it:


Be strong in the Lord
As you take my hand and my heart
And we start a marriage 
In which we never will part


Be strong in the Lord
As we begin each new day
And seek first our God
So that we won't go astray


Be strong in the Lord
As we grow in His love
And remember our marriage 
Is a gift from above


Be strong in the Lord
When we have our first fight
With patience and love
Any wrong we'll make right


Be strong in the Lord
When we're struggling and poor
If we have each other
We need nothing more


Be strong in the Lord
As our first baby we hold
God's gracious loan of sweet life
To shape and to mold


Be strong in the Lord
On days that we dance with delight
A life spent together
So incredibly right


Be strong in the Lord 
As time passes us by
No matter the season
I'll stay by your side


Be strong in the Lord
For all of our days
At the end of our journey
Still we'll give Him our praise


That poem is framed and hangs on a wall in our bedroom beside the stone shield. There have been many days that I've glanced at the poem and have recognized how a stanza speaks to exactly where we are at the moment and I smile to myself as I walk by it remembering the commitment that we made. And if I'm just being honest, there are also days that I've wanted to throw that poem across the room I've been so mad. Because what no one ever told us hopeless romantics all the days we got lost in dreaming about our prince charming when we were little girls, is that marriage isn't easy. It's difficult - very difficult sometimes. It's about making a choice to love through it all. It's about fighting for our marriage. It's about never giving up.


It always bothered me that all those romantic movies that I loved growing up never showed the rest of the story and the events that happened after the couple fell in love. But I guess even the most romantic of us all eventually come to find out that what happens after a couple falls in love is not always the kind of story that people would want to watch. No one wants to document that their prince or princess snores, or has morning breath, or looks different without their makeup on. No one takes pictures of the days in sweatpants and t-shirts with their hair beyond untamable. And we never invite our friends over when our house is adorned with stacks of unwashed dishes in the sink and unfolded clothes on the floor. We rarely talk about our disagreements and the moments that we were clearly at our very worst, but share about the happy, joyous times. And I think that's normal. But I have come to know also that it's the tough moments, the trying times, the untold and unseen events in a marriage that make the sweet moments even sweeter. It's been those moments that have made our love grow stronger and deeper. It's those moments that have made me bear down, grit my teeth, and stand firm in the commitment that we made to each other and to God that have made me love and appreciate Stephen more today than I did four years ago when our marriage had just begun.


My friend, Libby Brock, (the same friend that in a way had a hand in Stephen and I even knowing each other today) took these pictures yesterday. I love these pictures of our family and what we have become four years later. I love that we documented in photographs a joyful time outdoors with our son that is growing so quickly. And even though most days we don't look like this or dress like this and many days we don't act like this - it's still us and it's still who we are just at our best...or at least our better. And it's a sweet day captured in photographs that is even sweeter because of all the tough days that were and will be scattered along the journey - the days of tears, trials, fears, disappointments, loss, and uncertainty.

Stephen, 

I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be your wife. I am thankful for the selfless way that you strive to love me and I pray that God would continue to teach me how to love you selflessly and unconditionally. I am thankful for the gift of marriage and that on the hard days and happy days (and every day in between) you are by my side. You are a good husband, a loving husband, a faithful husband. You are a wonderful friend and father. You have the heart of a servant. When I think about this verse, I think about you:  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25) I pray that we will continue to "be strong in the Lord" on this journey together, and I pray that our love with continue to grow throughout all the years that God grants us together on this earth. I love you! 

F.M.W.L.

Love, Your Kassi Bee

3 years already. We are so blessed.

Especially for Stephen:

Today marks 3 years of marriage for us. I can't believe it's been three, wonderful years already. You are truly my best friend and I could not imagine life with anyone else by my side. God has directed us to quite a few places of ministry in these three years and not living near family, we have just had each other. I am thankful for how our experiences have only made our bond stronger. This 3rd anniversary celebration will be quite different with an almost 7 week old little one, but I wouldn't want it any other way. My hair might be a mess all day, a shower may not be guaranteed, and my "perfume" might smell exactly like baby spit up but we are together and that is what is important. I am just so blessed that you love me the way that you do. So blessed! I'm looking forward to 183 more years and just pray so much that our marriage can be an example of love, commitment, and faithfulness for our children.

This morning I was reflecting on some our very first moments together when we were so completely unaware of what was ahead for us and smiling at what God had planned all along:

I never could have guessed that agreeing to meet at Zaxby's for lunch before working camp that summer would be the first of many meals shared together.

I never could have guessed that you waking me up backstage after worship the night I was sick would be the first of many nights of waking me up when I'd fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. I never could have guessed that being paired for the "Amazing Race" fellowship at camp would be the first of many watched Amazing Race seasons together or that teaching Bible study each morning next door to each other would just be the start of our years of ministry together. I never could have guessed that by running out to the car at camp to say hello to your parents, sister, and grandmother, I was actually saying hello to my amazing, future family. I never could have imagined that when you slipped a balloon ring on my finger just being silly at camp, that you would only a few months later slip an engagement ring on my finger. I never could have guessed that when the staff squeezed into the seats on the subway on the way from Philadelphia to New York and I was squeezed in ever so close to you, that I would share many more moments right by your side as your wife feeling just as safe and wonderful as I did in that moment on the subway.

I cherish the phone calls after camp every night sharing our hearts with one another and trying to convince my Dad that you just considered me a good friend. I never could have guessed that you were the one that he had been praying for for me all along. And then the night on the phone that you told me "I know I'm going to marry you..." and I knew in my heart that you were absolutely right.

I cherish those moments of falling in love and just want to spend all of my years continuing to fall in love with the amazing man that you are, Stephen.

I have loved every moment:

From camp,

To our first date,

To playing in the leaves,

To falling in love.

From our engagement,

to our wedding,

to our year in New Orleans,

and Wake Forest,

and Georgia.

From anniversaries spent by ourselves,

to anticipating life with our baby boy,

to welcoming our precious, son.

I wouldn't change a single thing! I would marry you a million times over! Happy 3rd anniversary. I love you for my whole life. :)

Love, Kassi Bee