I can't believe that's me...

This is really me at 37 weeks with 6 pounds 9 ounces of sweet baby boy inside. I kept looking at this picture last night and saying over and over "I can't believe that's me..." It is shocking to see the changes that your body goes through during the course of a pregnancy but I am so very thankful for the privilege to be the one to get to do it. I have felt great and really enjoyed the last nine months. I've enjoyed carrying our little guy everywhere with me, have enjoyed our conversations, and have actually loved ALL of his little punches and pushes. I am also looking forward to him being here soon - carrying him everywhere in my arms instead of my belly and having the opportunity to hear him talk back in sweet baby language. This past Monday we got to find out James' current weight and see him on our final ultrasound. He is so incredibly crowded now and we really couldn't make out any features! The doctor said for a first baby I'm making really good progress. Based on that report and just the changes I've been experiencing, Stephen and I feel like he could be here soon. Maybe even in January. But we'll wait and see. God's timing is perfect and we are content to let him come in the Lord's time. We go back to the doctor again on Monday so maybe we'll know more then. Thank you for your continued prayers for the three of us!

Paid in Full

A day that I had been waiting on for quite some time just recently came. I had literally dreamed and imagined what it would be like far too many times over the last four years and how I would respond when this day came. Would I scream, breathe a sigh of relief, or dance around in delight? Would I shout it from the rooftops or just smile and celebrate inwardly that it had finally come? This wonderful day that I had hoped for was... the day that I would no longer owe any more money to the South Carolina Student Loan Corporation and we would officially be debt free. Silly? Maybe...but to me it was a day that I longed for! It was a goal that we hoped to achieve before our first child was born and with James' due date only 5 weeks away, it seems that we met our goal in just the nick of time.

I'm not sure exactly why it has always bothered me so much to have this school debt. Everyone says that college loans are a "good debt" to have if you have to have debt. I have no regrets about the college that I chose. My college experience was so great and I know that I was exactly where God wanted me for those four years of my life. I knew clearly from the minute that I walked on the campus of Anderson University that I was at home. However, when school was over and my loan payments began it always felt like a big looming burden hanging over me that I owed something to someone that I could not quickly repay.

Well, we worked, saved, and payed large chunks of money toward the loan each month until finally this past month we were able to pay the rest of the loan down to the last cent. A letter came in the mail today and when Stephen came to my work this afternoon he had the letter laying on the console of the car. I saw the logo that I had seen so many times before on that familiar stationary and then I saw the word "Congratulations!" It literally jumped off the page. These monthly statements said many things but never had one began with the word congratulations.

It wasn't the magical moment I had envisioned. There were no fireworks or victory dances although I did squeal a little. The joy I felt to read those words that in a nutshell said - "Congratulations, your debt is paid in full" felt like music to my ears as I thought about how hard we had worked to pay it off. Could there be any better news in all the world?

And then it hit me. Like a brick. Actually, more like a ton of bricks. I had been worrying, dreaming, hoping, praying, and WORKING for so long to pay back this debt that really pales in comparison to another debt I owed not so long ago. Jesus paid a debt for me on the cross that I could NEVER repay no matter how hard I hoped or worked. No matter how long I waited and dreamed. And the best part about it is that He never wanted me to work to pay it back. He paid my debt in full and I had to do nothing but receive His free gift. I have a letter from my Lord and Savior full of "congratulations" and "your debt is paid in full." The letter doesn't say "we'd be happy to loan you more money in the future." Instead, it says "I love you always - with an everlasting love." It's a letter that I often take for granted and there are too many days that I don't delight in the fact that this great debt is paid in full simply because God loves me and calls me His child. Not because of anything that I did to deserve it...

I praise God for paying my debt in full and for simple reminders of this truth presented in mundane events of the day. I pray that you too would rejoice in the debt that Jesus paid on the cross for us all and that you wouldn't strive and labor anymore but would accept this free, most gracious gift of love.

I find myself praying many things for my unborn little boy these days. And so, today, Father, I pray that James would receive the free gift of your son Jesus one day soon and that he would come to know Your great love for him. I pray that he wouldn't try to work to earn your love or acceptance but would simply embrace the gift of a relationship with you. I pray that he would know your love for him. I pray that Stephen and I could in some small way love him in a way that he would understand how much his Heavenly Father loves him. I pray he would trust you with his life. Thank you for paying his debt in full....

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

29 Weeks

I just wanted to blog briefly and share our newest picture of our little guy. It is so great to see his sweet face after imagining and dreaming about what he would look like for so long. I know when we hold him in our arms in just 11 short weeks it will even more amazing! I'm feeling great and am very healthy! I praise God for good reports (for both James and for me) each time from the doctor. We are hoping he will stay cozy in there until February 11 and won't come early (the longer he's in my belly the less I have to be away from him at the end of this school year). I am measuring just a few days behind so we aren't expecting him to make a surprise arrival but you never know... :) Thanks for all of your prayers!

Here is a picture of my growing belly as well! I've read I will still probably be putting on about 10 more pounds in the weeks ahead. I'm going to enjoy seeing my toes for as long as I can!

Baby Canon!

We had the privilege of living a few doors down from Jess and Rachel Rainer while we were living in Wake Forest. Their baby boy, Canon John Rainer, was born just a few nights ago. He is absolutely beautiful and we wish we could be there to share in the joy that I know they must be feeling right now. I just wanted to share a link to Jess' dad's blog from October 15th so that you can read "A Letter to my Grandson." It is a powerful, moving commitment that he makes to pray for baby Canon and and to support and affirm him and his parents as well as they raise their baby unto the Lord. I pray that baby James will have to same privilege of having grandparents that pray for him and affirm him for who God made him to be. Here is the link (the blog is dated October 15): http://www.thomrainer.com/.

James' Nursery and My Growing Belly

We had a wonderful time last weekend when James' Nana and Grandpa came for a visit and helped Stephen get his nursery (pretty much) ready. We might not have a single diaper or bottle yet, but we made certain that he will have a cute nursery whenever he makes his debut! I am so thankful for all the hard work that they put into making his room so special and just for them coming to spend time with us. We always love when they visit! I thought I would post a picture of his room.

Also, week 21 and 22 have brought quite the belly. People at school have actually started to notice that I'm pregnant and I'm getting lots of interesting questions and belly touches all the time. It's amazing what people share with you when you are pregnant and the number of awkward conversations but I guess its all part of the adventure... :) Well, here is a picture of my 22 week belly. Hope you enjoy!

P.S. As I am writing this, I am watching my stomach move from the little kicks and punches that are going on inside my belly from our little night owl. It is strange and amazing...and feels in some ways like an alien is inside of my body. How can people not know they are pregnant? That show on TLC is baffling to me especially right now when my body in no way looks or feels like my own...

Baby Kicks

I realize that all my posts are suddenly about our baby boy and so I want to apologize (well, maybe just a little) if we have been talking about nothing else. Stephen and I love this little guy so much already and he already feels so much apart of our life and our family that I am just bursting to talk about him every chance I get.

I am 20 weeks and 2 days pregnant and feeling (for the most part) very good and healthy. I have really enjoyed being pregnant and even though I have already experienced many changes, I often ask Stephen if he is sad that he can't be the one to get to carry our son for these 40 weeks. Stephen assures me he is just fine with his role and I, of course, love mine and that's usually the end of that conversation -- I guess it's just the way God designed it all to be. :) But, really I do love my role as his mother. I feel like it's my greatest life privilege to be a mama to James Blake Johnson and a wife to Stephen Blake Johnson. Yes, that is our official blog announcement of his name. I'm not sure if I had done that yet...

James is growing quickly. We got to see him again on Monday and he is definitely filling up his space. We told him Sunday night that he had a big test the next day - his anatomy scan - and after our talk he cooperated with only mild stubbornness in letting us see his heart, spine, kidneys, face, etc. The doctor said everything looked "perfect" which is always what you want to hear. He is about 3/4 of a pound and as active as can be. I had felt little baby flutters for several weeks that were very inconsistent but starting Tuesday night I have felt baby kicks every day - in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night. :) Stephen got to feel him kicking for the first time on Thursday night. We were laying in bed and Stephen had his hand on my belly and I would say "that's another one" every time I felt a kick and but Stephen could not feel them. We would push on him and shake him until he would do it again. Finally, about 1 AM and almost asleep, James gave us one huge kick as if to say "let me go to sleep already" and Stephen said - "that was a big one" and it was. Stephen had felt his son kick for the first time and it was just a really special moment - one that you just want to freeze in time forever. Of course, Stephen decided to update twitter immediately probably waking up his mother and sister but we were on cloud 9. I wouldn't care if he kicked 100 times an hour... :)

I was getting ready early on Friday morning watching Stephen still sleeping and hogging his side and my side of the bed and feeling this little baby move around inside of my belly and just thinking about these two men who have invaded my life, so to speak, and changed it in so many ways. I just had to stop in that early morning moment and praise my Father for invading my heart and changing my life so many years ago when I accepted Jesus and for continuing to change me hopefully on a daily basis to make me more like his Son. I also thanked God for the gift of Stephen and James - gifts that I never want to take for granted. I feel like an amazingly blessed girl.

I am continuing to press on this school year - continuing to learn a lot about myself and God's leading in my life. I'm taking it one day at a time and praying God be glorified in what I offer each day to my students and to Him. It's not an easy job....but that's all I'll say about that. I am just praying for enough grace, strength, and patience for the day and letting the future worry about itself.

I am looking forward to James' Nana and Grandpa coming for a visit this weekend. They will be bringing the furniture for James' room that we ordered on our visit to AL and helping Stephen paint his room. I know we will have a fun time! :)

Thanks for all your prayers and love for us!

Kassi and Stephen

Baby Johnson is going to be a...boy!

I am almost 15 weeks pregnant today and had a doctor's appointment after school. Our doctor goes to our church and mentioned last time that as a courtesy she would try and find out the sex of the baby at this appointment although it could possibly be too early. I have tried not to get my hopes up and think about it too much (which I've had little time to think about much lately besides fourth grade language arts) because I knew it was possible that we may not find out even if she attempted to look. This afternoon at school, the car ride to the appointment, and waiting in the office...all I could think about is whether or not we would find out today.

We had pretty much convinced ourselves that we were having a girl throughout most of the pregnancy. The last week or so I started to feel that maybe we were wrong and were having a boy - in fact, I even dreamed one night about delivering a baby boy. I could see his face (he looked like Stephen) and even knew his weight in my dream. Well, I guess a mother's instinct is right...

As Stephen, the technician, and I watched the screen she said "now, it may be too early" and then immediately as she scanned towards his little parts said "oh, I'm seeing something."  I said, "something like a boy?" I knew instantly our baby was a boy and so did Stephen.  She checked to make sure it wasn't the cord and then with every picture she took we became more convinced that we were having a sweet baby boy. I can honestly say that we were shocked but excited and overjoyed. I felt overcome with emotion and just lay there crying watching my little boy wiggle and wave to us. He is going to be a big boy and an active boy! 

I am absolutely in love with this baby and thank God that I get to be his mommy! Pray that I can focus on teaching and all the other things that need to 

be done until he gets here in February. 

Here are a few pictures to show off our growing baby. I don't have any belly pictures to show yet although it has definitely started popping out here in the last few days. Please don't think I'm a bad mom for showing his boy parts off to the world. This will be the only one because, believe me, I'm all about modesty, but I just wanted you all to share in the excitement of the day.