Not Exactly Olan Mills...

I wanted to share the pictures that we took for our Fourth Anniversary, because they really make me laugh. I guess after 4 years it's safe to say that we've now made a tradition out of taking an anniversary picture on the same chair in the same pose (you can see the other 3 in the post below). I don't know how long we'll continue on with this yearly tradition. We were joking about whether or not we would still take one on our 50th anniversary or if we would be too stiff and too old to be able to get onto the chair (or if the chair would even survive the years of raising children). It's actually fun to look at them all together and see how much our lives have changed (or how much we have aged from lack of sleep - haha!) from year to year.

We wanted James to be in the picture like last year. However, he really did not want to cooperate. He was irritable from teething, not wanting to be held down, and desperately wanting the tower of nesting blocks (we were using as a tripod) that the camera was resting on. We set the camera for self-timer mode and tried our best to get in position before the timer went off. Stephen ran to the camera to see how they turned out and warned me that "they were not very good." And he was right...definitely not picture perfect, but strangely perfect still. I didn't even want to take another one. They represent a memory and a moment in time. They are incredibly honest. They are a snapshot of our life at the moment (I didn't even ask him to edit out the dark circle or blemishes this year!). And I love them! This is our real life...far from perfect but perfectly wonderful still!

Happy Fourth Anniversary!!

I wonder all the ways we'll change in this next year?...

Four Years!

Stephen and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary tomorrow! I know I have written some very sappy (and lengthy) stuff in the past here on the blog on that day (and valentine's day and pretty much any other day that I wanted to declare my love for him...), so I won't get too gushy this time. ha! But, I can't let our anniversary pass without acknowledging how blessed and thankful I am that Stephen is my husband. He is even more than I dreamed of or prayed for in a husband. And even four years later, I am in awe of the way that God's hand guided us to each other at just the right time and what an absolutely perfect (for each other) husband God prepared for me. He is loving, and kind, and incredibly patient, and always looks for practical ways to be a servant in our marriage. He is my best friend, the one that knows me better than anyone, and hands down the one person I would always want to spend a day with if given a choice. This past year as new parents has only deepened my love and respect for him. Stephen is a wonderful father. James, of course, adores him and I am beyond thankful for the very present Daddy that I know he will be to James (and all of our children) through the years. I love him. And there aren't words adequate enough to express just how much. Happy 4th Anniversary, Stephen!

March 24, 2007 - Our Wedding Day at 12th Street Baptist Church in Gadsden, Alabama.

March 24, 2008 - Our first anniversary celebrated with a trip to Daytona Beach, Florida and a yummy seafood dinner. :)

March 24, 2009 - Our second anniversary celebrated with a trip (a few months earlier) to Asheville, NC to a cute little B&B before the semester started and dinner at the Melting Pot on our anniversary.

March 24, 2010 - Our third anniversary celebrated with a one month old and an anniversary lunch (table for 3!) at The Rusty Pig (a yummy BBQ restaurant in Glennville, GA) and a prayer for a decent night's sleep. :)

Stay tuned for details about our fourth anniversary celebration and an oh-so-similar picture. Tomorrow won't be too exciting because Stephen has class and work all day after pulling two all-nighters in a row finishing his Theology term paper (and won't be home until late), but we are going to try to squeeze in a little "linner" during one of his breaks (table for 3 again...I know, I know!). But we are going to make plans to celebrate (just the two of us) very soon. Pray for me in advance - James and I haven't spent too many moments apart this past 13 months. But I am very much looking forward to a much needed dinner for two very soon though. :)

Adversary or Advocate? Reaching the heart of your child.

Not too long ago I blogged about the book The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson and the profound impact that reading it had on me as a new mother. It left me feeling encouraged and challenged in this call to motherhood - that I would make the most of every moment in this time of my life (and James' life) and strive every day to parent him in a way that honors and glorifies Jesus Christ. I know that she also has several other books that I have added to my reading wish list (and can't wait to get my hands on!) as well. :)

I also recently found her blog and have been so encouraged as a young mother by her writings full of both her own experiences as a mother but also grounded in God's Word. The main thing that I struggle with as a young mother (and maybe some of you can relate) is that I lack perspective. I do not know how the decisions that I make today will impact James in the future. I know that they will impact him and have a part in shaping the person that he is becoming, and so I just pray that God will help me and give me wisdom to make the choices that are best for him. I found this post that she wrote today very encouraging and challenging and so I wanted to share it with all of you.

We all need an advocate in our lives. Who better to be an advocate for our children than us - their own mothers (or fathers)? I pray that I would be an advocate for every child that God entrusts to me in this life and that I would be able to effectively reach their hearts. I pray that they would not choose obedience because they feel that I am policing them or demeaning them into making the "right" choices, but that I would encourage them as they grow in obedience so that they would desire and long to live a holy life of obedience to God. There is also an opportunity to win one of her books by sharing this particular post on your facebook page, twitter, or personal blog. I hope it will be an encouragement to you.

Adversary or Advocate? Reaching the heart of your child and a giveaway!

Seasons

The seasons are changing again. The evidence is everywhere. The grass is turning green again, the days are getting warmer, and the sun is setting later. I hear children playing outside in the evenings and smell the scent of hamburgers cooking on a grill. Spring is almost here (soon to be followed by Summer)! And if I had it my way, warm weather would last forever. I love this time of year. I almost feel nostalgic when I think about flip-flops, and watermelon, and the smell of chlorine and sunscreen, and summer days that seemed to last forever as a kid. Stephen is just the opposite. I am convinced that he would live in Antarctica if he could -- or at least anywhere that he wouldn't have to be hot all the time! But regardless of what either of us would prefer, we know that the seasons will continue to come and go, right on time, just as they always have.

The Bible talks about Seasons in Ecclesiastes 3 stating, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."

There are so many different seasons of our lives as well. I would not be completely honest if I didn't confess that in various seasons of my life I have longed for the next stage of my life instead of being content in that moment. And then once I was in that new season, I often wondered why I didn't enjoy the unique things about that season and time in my life. I do that sometimes now. You know, the whole "if only I had known then what I know now..." I would have enjoyed uninterrupted sleep more, or quality time with my husband more, or going to the movies, or long showers, or dressing up, or lingering at the dinner table long after the meal is finished.

But as the seasons come and go, I know I will have those things again. Yes, I will have all of those things that seem so far away right now. But I won't have cheerios tucked in ever nook and cranny of the house, and diapers overflowing out of every trash can, and finger smudges on the windows, and goldfish under the sheets of my bed, and trains scattered throughout the living room. I won't have avocado wiped on my shirt, or torn pages in my new book, or a baby boy crying and clinging to my leg when I have to leave. Right now I am in the season of motherhood, and I am a young mother to a toddler boy. Many days are crazy, unpredictable, and physically demanding. And there are moments on certain days when I think "when he's just a little bit older..." because I feel like I don't have the energy to do the same tasks one more time, or I feel alone, or I feel like no one has been where I've been, and I hear the voice of the enemy whisper that "what you are doing doesn't really matter anyway." And it is in those moments that I have to stop and ask the Lord to give me joy and contentment in the season that I am in, because I know deep down that it does matter. It matters greatly. Because while it may just look like changing diapers, and fixing meals, and wiping off a dirty face and hands - I know that it's much more than that and that I am raising a little boy day by day that will one day be a man - a man that I pray loves God with all of his heart and serves Him all the days of his life. And just as "Rome wasn't built in a day," the call to motherhood requires patience and perseverance as we raise this little boy that has been entrusted to us. History tells me (you know, the almost 27 years of life experience that I have ;) -ha!) that when this season has passed that I will miss everything about it and my mother's heart already knows that I will.

So, today I am praying that God will help me to delight in this season of my life and praying that he will help you to be content in whatever the season that you find yourself in as well.

Shamrock Painting!

A few days ago I decided to let James try painting for the first time, but I knew that he was not ready for real paint because everything still goes straight into his mouth. So, I decided to add a little green food coloring to his yogurt and let the fun begin! In the last year I have really had to let go of some of my need to keep things orderly and clean all the time - there is no other choice with a little one (and a little boy) around. :) We may have had green "paint" EVERYWHERE by the end, but it was so worth it to get to experience his joy in exploring something new! Here are a few pictures of his yogurt painting:

Down By The Bay

James loves to read and sing! So, I was so happy when I found a few sing-along board books on our last trip to the library. I just wanted to share this video of James reading/singing because I think that it's so cute. We had been singing for a while before we actually started videoing so I really had him going pretty good at this point. I'm not completely sure if he is reading or singing because he makes the same sound for both - it is one of my favorite sounds to hear in our house throughout the day though!  Please excuse the singing of his far inferior singing companion. :) Enjoy!

Glad God Cares About It All

I am so glad that God cares about about it all and I do mean it all.

The last few days (or week) have been a little challenging. I won't go into enormous detail, but I did want to give a little warning for the faint at heart that may not want to continue on with reading this particular post. (This is absolutely a mother-related post.)

I am feeling exhausted and a little defeated at the moment. Just between our regular busy schedule (particularly Stephen working pretty much full-time and being in class during the week), combined with him being gone to weekend class this past weekend, and then me unknowingly persevering (and nursing through) through painful mastitis (basically a breast infection with flu-like symptoms) for about a week all while taking care of an active but, at the moment, very cranky, teething (molars I think?) toddler...I am just feeling worn down. Beyond worn down.  I know the tone of this post is sounding pretty negative and I apologize for that. Even as I have reflected on the past few days, I do not have to look very far around me to realize that in the midst of my crazier-than-usual days I have a million, billion things to be thankful for. And I really am so, very thankful to be able to have another day of life on this earth with my husband and my son despite how crazy it may have been! 

And as I've just been reflecting on our crazy week, I have found comfort in that fact that God knows and cares. He cares about it all. The big, the small, and the big-to-us-at-the-moment details of our lives. And thankfully He can use it all to make us more like Jesus.

Yesterday morning when I knew I was not going to get better and only going to get worse, we found a doctor's office that could see me (we didn't have one here yet) and found out that because of the mastitis combined with some further complications (won't go into it all) that my nursing would need to be greatly diminished until I healed and that while James could nurse some he would need to take mostly pumped milk for a while. And while James is in the process of being "slowly and gently weaned", I knew that we still had a ways to go. So with all of that in the forefront of my mind (for the past month) I was feeling pretty overwhelmed at the news from the doctor. I know some of you may be thinking, "James is 13 months old. What's the big deal? Shouldn't he have been cut off a long time ago?" And it's okay, I would probably have thought the same thing at one point in my life. But James is a baby that has rejected all bottles since about 4 months old and will only take water from a cup.  To say that he is passionate, persistent, or strong-willed is an understatement. And while that could be viewed as a negative in some regards, I know that properly reigned in and nurtured that same characteristic could make him incredibly passionate about people, or injustice, or the lost, or about sharing Jesus with others (or so many wonderful things!) So, it's been important for us to try to find a healthy balance of "being the parents" (of course, correcting what is disobedient and not being "permissive parents") while still trying to respect the person that he is -- in a nutshell, sometimes strong-willed can be good. 

After hours, and hours, and hours (and days) of crying and trying every kind of sippy cup and non-sippy cup and straw and bottle and syringe and practically everything to get him to drink something (proof that he won't just eventually "give it up when he's thirsty/hungry enough" like the doctor said), we had a victory (a sweet victory for us all) last night. After talking with doctors and lactation consultants and LLL people and friends who have "been there", we were able to get him to drink some milk from a cup without a lid with a little strawberry syrup (don't judge!). And then he did it again this morning! I know that this all might sound so silly, but I can't tell you how much it hurt me to watch my child cry for hours at a time. It was so emotionally exhausting that I would seriously have rather endured child labor all over again (seriously!) than to have to watch him cry for that long. But that is our James - a sweet, loving, happy, smart, curious, but strong-willed boy. He has never been one to sleep easily, or self-soothe easily, or accept substitutes easily, or transition easily...but he is our son and we love him so much. And we love him for who he is. And isn't that how God loves us? And I am so thankful for that!! (After all, our strong-willed child came from somewhere...ha!)

By the time he was finally asleep last night, I practically collapsed from exhaustion feeling so many emotions. I was crying and asking Stephen "Does God know how hard this day has been? Does He care about even this?" even though I already knew the answer and that He does. 

Whatever you are facing or struggling with in your life right now (or maybe even just whatever difficult-for-the-moment-situations-that-seem-so-much-bigger-now-than-they-will-later ...probably much like this past week has been for us), God cares. Rejoice and take comfort in that. He is constantly refining us and making us more like Jesus through it all.

I never posted a verse(s) for March so I am going to try and memorize parts or maybe all of Psalm 139 this month. I have been reflecting on this familiar, comforting Psalm this morning. So thankful for God and His Word! 

Psalm 139

 ¹ You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.