The Fourth! And Picture Perfect? (Parenting Confession!)

We had a great independence day celebration at Nana and Grandpa's! They really did a lot of preparing and planning to make our time together special and had lots of great themed food, decorations, and crafts for the boys. The men also did a little firework show right in the backyard - James was a little uneasy with the fireworks as close as they'd ever been to him and said he "liked it a little loud but not very loud"but still seemed to really enjoy it and Jude slept straight through it all. Aunt Leah and Uncle JP were in town, and the three big boys had the best time playing together! I thought I'd share a few pictures of the festivities.

Nana made an Angry Birds watermelon. 

We found a recipe for red and blue deviled eggs!

Fourth of July crafts :)

Stephen and I played some outdoor games. I said we needed a picture to document that,  six years and two kids later, "we still do things together!" ha!

Meeting Aunt Leah!

And Uncle JP!

Side Note: I wasn't able to get a picture of James and Jude together (I tried quite a few times!) or of all of the five cousins together. James is going through a time lately of not wanting his picture taken (and he's had them taken a lot lately between maternity pictures, newborn pictures, life with a new baby brother pictures, etc.) and when we got him alone, after a little meltdown (that was probably a long time coming after the last few months of photo taking), he was able to express to us very clearly that he had taken enough pictures that day and did not want to have any more taken of him. I felt very convicted that I've tried at times to capture the "perfect" picture or moment and after our talk decided that it is something I'm not going to push anymore, and that I really want and need to respect him in that area. There are lots of nonnegotiables in parenting, but this is surely not one of them and I hope moving forward from this that he will feel like his voice has been heard. Of course, as parents we can't say "yes" to every request and there will be certain things that he may not enjoy but as parents we know what's best for him. But I hope that as we strive to keep the lines of communication open, that we will consider his requests and his voice and say "yes" when we can and should. So, from here on out on this blog (and not that there's been many pictures that he was against taking!), there will only be pictures shared of James that he's excited about taking. They may not be the cutest pictures (because we just go with the first one!) or there may not be any pictures of him at all for long stretches of time, but it will definitely be a true picture of reality. And that's what I've always hoped to portray here on this blog anyway - an imperfect pair that is seeking daily the Perfect One in parenting and in whatever else He calls us to. (Some of these lessons in parenting sure sting a bit, but I hope we're learning and growing as we go!) 

What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son's Life

Stephen gave me this book in the hospital shortly after Jude was born. I know some people want jewelry or other things after the birth of their babies (I've heard them called "push presents") and there's nothing wrong with that, but I'm glad that Stephen "gets me" and knows how practical I am. This was the perfect gift for this avid reader, and I couldn't wait to dive into it despite being very tired and busy. I enjoyed reading this book during the early morning hours that I was awake with Jude the last several weeks, and I thought I would just share some of my favorite excerpts. This is a great book and I highly recommend it to mothers of sons to help in understanding the significance of the mother/son relationship.

- Of all the people in the world, you, Mom, make the biggest difference in your son's world...That gives you, Mom, a lot of power in your son's life. You can set your son up for success in life -- or failre. You, and only you, can help him understand what it is to be male and how to form healthy relationships with other females.

- It's the child's relationship with the parent of the opposite sex that is most important in families...Mothers leave an indelible imprint on the lives of their sons. Their sons may leave home, graduate from college, get married, and have children of their own, but they'll never stop being Mommy's boy...Mothers shape their sons in ways so profound that men live with their mom's unwritten rules imprinted on them...A man's marriage says far more about his relationship to his mother than it does about his relationship to his father. 

- There are three things that he needs most from you: He needs to be respected...Your son needs to believe he is a capable, worthy human being. He needs to know he is important in your world...He longs for acceptance, a sense of belonging, and companionship from you. No one else will do. He needs to be needed. ... Your son needs to know he has a solid place in your world, in your home, and in your heart. He needs to be fulfilled as a man. Your boy needs to know that he belongs to you, that you think he's special just as he is, and that you appreciate his maleness...

- My mother was my champion, even when, in the world's eyes, I was a failure.

- Did you know that no matter what your relationship with your son is like, he'll tend to marry a woman like you?

- There's a time when you butt out and let your child handle his own problems. But there are other times when you need to step in and take action.

- Your son will live up to the unwritten expectations for him.

- If your son feels accepted by you at home, he won't go looking for that acceptance elsewhere. If he finds it in a peer group, that's great - it's just added to the unconditional acceptance he gets at home. 

- When your kid messes up, let him live with the consequences...give your son the freedom to fail while he's still in the nest. How you handle his failures is so much more important than how you handle his victories. 

- Fighting is an act of cooperation. When your son engages in a fight, he's doing so for a reason. He wants your attention. And if he can't get your attention in a positive way, he'll do it in a negative way...As soon as you enter a power struggle with your son -- you will lose. But there's a better way -- and you'll always win. (Reality Discipline)

- Your home needs to be a place where your son can fail -- and learn from that failure -- not a place where he's continually rescued from his own dumb moves.

- The smart mom will learn to respond rather than react. 

- Beware of the activity trap. Your son is not going to be more successful in life just because you have him in swim class, boy scouts, soccer, and karate all in one year. All your doing is raising a son who thinks he has to go from activity to activity to please you and be someone of earth. It sets him up later in life to think he has to do more, be more, to actually be someone.

- When you open your mouth, you hold your son's welfare in your hands.

- Moms, if you're going to err, err on the side of believing in your child. Expect the best out of them, believe the best out of the...but don't let them get away with squat either.


Apparently, I enjoyed the entire book! And I highly recommend it. It also touches on reality discipline and the birth order (which is very interesting and very true, I think!).

Jude at 1 Month!

I can't believe that Jude is already one month old. It seems like we just brought him home from the hospital, but he has already been a part of our little family for over four weeks. I wanted to take the time to document some things going on in his world to remember him at this age later:

Growth: Jude weighed 10 pounds and was 21 inches long at 3.5 weeks (60th-80th percentile). He is moving out of NB clothing and into 0-3 month clothing and wearing size 1 diapers.

Appearance: He has lots of dark hair (has lost some on the sides since birth) and eyes that are looking very brown already. He looks a lot like James but has his own look too. He is definitely a combination of Mama and Daddy, but several people have commented that he looks a lot like Mama did as a newborn. I think James looks more like Daddy and Jude like Mama but they look most like each other (at least for now anyway!).

Sleep: He is still sleeping often during the day and is awake about 1 to 1.5 hours on average between naps. He will usually sleep in three hour stretches at night but occasionally 4 to 5 hours. He is sleeping in the newborn attachment of the pack-n-play in our room and likes to be swaddled while he sleeps. He will fall asleep much more easily than his big brother did (at least for now) and often will drift off when I lay him down still semi-awake. He also smiles and laughs in his sleep often and has since we brought him home.

Eating: He is eating very well about every three hours but sometimes more often during the day.

Personality: He seems to be a pretty laid-back little guy for now and doesn't seem to fuss often. He already seems very observant like his brother at this age.

Voice: He has a squeaky, precious little cry that does escalate and get much louder. He has also started cooing and squealing/screaming some the last few days.

Movement: He is lifting his head pretty well when laid on his tummy and doesn't seem to mind tummy time. He is also very alert and observant (like James was) and looks around at his surroundings often. He always moves his eyes toward Mama's voice when I'm not holding him.

Health: He has been very healthy except for the MRSA blister at 10 days old followed by the yeast diaper rash as a result of the antibiotic. Hopefully that is all behind us now. He is spitting up some but so far nothing that concerns us like James' reflux. He lost his cord on Father's Day at 9 days old (James lost his on Valentines Day at 9 days old). His tear ducts may not be working fully yet but should resolve on its own (doctor said its pretty common).

Likes: He loves being held/sleeping on Mama, loves the ergo carrier and is worn in it often (settles him quickly!), and seems to enjoy me singing to him. He also seems to really enjoy his bath most of the time and rarely cries. He also seems to like his paci and takes it pretty well.

Dislikes: He does not enjoy being laid down while he's awake unless we stay close and interact with him. He also gets very unhappy about being in the car seat (unless we put him in sleeping and he stays asleep) although not quite as unhappy as his brother who never slept in the car until around age 2.

Milestones/Other: smiling quite a bit at Mama now, has been on several outings: a few restaurants, Target, grocery store, park, a movie, story time at the library, first firework show(s) (and didn't cry at all!), and spent a night at Nana and Grandpa's (with us there). Received his first trophy for reading 115 books for the summer reading program (I know that seems a little silly but they encouraged me to sign him up along with James since he would hear the stories too!)

Jude, Our little praise baby! We love you and thank God for your life. We are so blessed to have you in our family!

Your big brother, James, loves to help take care of you and extends that love to other "babies" as well. Mr. 8 has been swaddled and pacified! I know his love for you will continue throughout your days together. I'm so thankful that you have each other!

Our Firstborn!

Since the last several posts today have mostly been about Jude, I thought I'd take a minute to post quickly about our firstborn who I happen to think is one amazing little boy! It seems like just yesterday that he was as tiny as his baby brother, and now he is almost three and half and amazing me every day with the things that he can say and do. He is smart, witty, persistent (on steroids!), loving, creative, and curious! Many days we butt heads because I think we are similar in a lot of ways, but at the end of the day, "we are a team" and I know he loves me more than anything and he knows I love him "to the moon and back!" I love every single unique thing about him that makes him the little boy that God created him to be.

Some days I wish I could turn back the clock to days with him as a newborn, because he's growing up so much faster than I'd like. But just like I cherish those memories, I cherish the now too and the little boy that he has become. I'm his "Mama Bear" and he's my "James-y Bear" and he is LOVED.

Celebrate America!

We caught the tail end of Celebrate America on Saturday night at our local park after Daddy got off of work. The city partnered with a large church in the area to put on the event complete with food trucks, outdoor movie, inflatables, and a firework show! James enjoyed trying out a few inflatable slides before the fireworks started, and Jude slept the whole time in the ergo carrier (he is always most content when he's snuggled up on Mama's chest!). I didn't take the greatest pictures, but thankfully I remembered to take a few before my battery died just to remember the night. I love celebrating our country's freedom and the sacrifice that so many have made for us (and I'm a sucker for that Lee Greenwood song too... it gets me every time!)

James is becoming quite the little photographer!

"Who does he look like?"

New parents are often asked "Who does he look like?" and if their new baby resembles a certain parent and/or their older sibling as well. Just for fun, I got out some baby pictures this week to compare each of our pictures to Jude. I know its always just a matter of opinion, but I see features of both Stephen and I in both of our boys and don't think either one of them looks "just like" either one of us. As Stephen always says, "I think he looks like him!" And I like that a lot. It's fun to recognize the similarities in looks or personality to a parent or sibling, but at the end of the day, each one is a unique creation too! So, just for fun...

I definitely think Jude has features of both Mama (top) and Daddy (bottom).
Stephen and I have always thought James (and now Jude) have my eyes and nose and his mouth and chin. Maybe?? 

And I think Jude also looks a lot like his big brother but each with their own little look too!

Jude is 3 Weeks (and 4 days old!) Already :)

I can't believe our little Jude is already three weeks old. We had a three week well-check yesterday and everything is looking great with him. He is already up to 10 pounds (81%), 21 inches (62%) and his head circumference is 15 inches (67%). I have been asked often if "he was a section?" And everyone's eyes get big when I say "no!" I was slightly shocked that he is growing quite so well, but I think he's just perfect (so thankful that he is healthy and growing!), and I know that he definitely fits perfectly in our family. I haven't completely forgotten what life was like before him, but, at the same time, I can't imagine life without him here with us!

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that prayed for Jude's healing with the blister that turned out to be MRSA. I was very concerned for something that can potentially be so dangerous to appear on my tiny little baby, and it was another lesson for me in trusting God with this tiny child that he had entrusted into my care. I prayed over him often these last couple of weeks when I was anxious and worried about the situation. The doctor told us yesterday that everything has healed nicely and we should be in the clear at this point. She said that we were very fortunate that he didn't get very sick, and I am so thankful that we caught it so early and got him the treatment that he needed. The only ill-effect at this point is that the antibiotic caused "the good bacteria to get out of balance" and he has a horrible (and bleeding!) diaper rash. We have a prescription cream for that, and so hopefully soon that will be behind us as well. Between a circumcision, staph infection, and now a bleeding rash, it has just broken my heart every time I have to change his diaper.

I will post a more detailed post about all his milestones at one month, but I just wanted to update the blog with this brief update for now.

I'll leave you with a few pictures of our child that sleeps (or has to learn to sleep) just about everywhere: I was rocking him the other night and telling him "I'm sorry I always have to leave you screaming while I'm making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" but it does seem that just about every day I'm making James lunch, Jude starts to wail. I am definitely feeling stretched most days, but thankful for this season of serving and striving to lay down my life for my children.