Baby Kicks

I realize that all my posts are suddenly about our baby boy and so I want to apologize (well, maybe just a little) if we have been talking about nothing else. Stephen and I love this little guy so much already and he already feels so much apart of our life and our family that I am just bursting to talk about him every chance I get.

I am 20 weeks and 2 days pregnant and feeling (for the most part) very good and healthy. I have really enjoyed being pregnant and even though I have already experienced many changes, I often ask Stephen if he is sad that he can't be the one to get to carry our son for these 40 weeks. Stephen assures me he is just fine with his role and I, of course, love mine and that's usually the end of that conversation -- I guess it's just the way God designed it all to be. :) But, really I do love my role as his mother. I feel like it's my greatest life privilege to be a mama to James Blake Johnson and a wife to Stephen Blake Johnson. Yes, that is our official blog announcement of his name. I'm not sure if I had done that yet...

James is growing quickly. We got to see him again on Monday and he is definitely filling up his space. We told him Sunday night that he had a big test the next day - his anatomy scan - and after our talk he cooperated with only mild stubbornness in letting us see his heart, spine, kidneys, face, etc. The doctor said everything looked "perfect" which is always what you want to hear. He is about 3/4 of a pound and as active as can be. I had felt little baby flutters for several weeks that were very inconsistent but starting Tuesday night I have felt baby kicks every day - in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night. :) Stephen got to feel him kicking for the first time on Thursday night. We were laying in bed and Stephen had his hand on my belly and I would say "that's another one" every time I felt a kick and but Stephen could not feel them. We would push on him and shake him until he would do it again. Finally, about 1 AM and almost asleep, James gave us one huge kick as if to say "let me go to sleep already" and Stephen said - "that was a big one" and it was. Stephen had felt his son kick for the first time and it was just a really special moment - one that you just want to freeze in time forever. Of course, Stephen decided to update twitter immediately probably waking up his mother and sister but we were on cloud 9. I wouldn't care if he kicked 100 times an hour... :)

I was getting ready early on Friday morning watching Stephen still sleeping and hogging his side and my side of the bed and feeling this little baby move around inside of my belly and just thinking about these two men who have invaded my life, so to speak, and changed it in so many ways. I just had to stop in that early morning moment and praise my Father for invading my heart and changing my life so many years ago when I accepted Jesus and for continuing to change me hopefully on a daily basis to make me more like his Son. I also thanked God for the gift of Stephen and James - gifts that I never want to take for granted. I feel like an amazingly blessed girl.

I am continuing to press on this school year - continuing to learn a lot about myself and God's leading in my life. I'm taking it one day at a time and praying God be glorified in what I offer each day to my students and to Him. It's not an easy job....but that's all I'll say about that. I am just praying for enough grace, strength, and patience for the day and letting the future worry about itself.

I am looking forward to James' Nana and Grandpa coming for a visit this weekend. They will be bringing the furniture for James' room that we ordered on our visit to AL and helping Stephen paint his room. I know we will have a fun time! :)

Thanks for all your prayers and love for us!

Kassi and Stephen

Baby Johnson is going to be a...boy!

I am almost 15 weeks pregnant today and had a doctor's appointment after school. Our doctor goes to our church and mentioned last time that as a courtesy she would try and find out the sex of the baby at this appointment although it could possibly be too early. I have tried not to get my hopes up and think about it too much (which I've had little time to think about much lately besides fourth grade language arts) because I knew it was possible that we may not find out even if she attempted to look. This afternoon at school, the car ride to the appointment, and waiting in the office...all I could think about is whether or not we would find out today.

We had pretty much convinced ourselves that we were having a girl throughout most of the pregnancy. The last week or so I started to feel that maybe we were wrong and were having a boy - in fact, I even dreamed one night about delivering a baby boy. I could see his face (he looked like Stephen) and even knew his weight in my dream. Well, I guess a mother's instinct is right...

As Stephen, the technician, and I watched the screen she said "now, it may be too early" and then immediately as she scanned towards his little parts said "oh, I'm seeing something."  I said, "something like a boy?" I knew instantly our baby was a boy and so did Stephen.  She checked to make sure it wasn't the cord and then with every picture she took we became more convinced that we were having a sweet baby boy. I can honestly say that we were shocked but excited and overjoyed. I felt overcome with emotion and just lay there crying watching my little boy wiggle and wave to us. He is going to be a big boy and an active boy! 

I am absolutely in love with this baby and thank God that I get to be his mommy! Pray that I can focus on teaching and all the other things that need to 

be done until he gets here in February. 

Here are a few pictures to show off our growing baby. I don't have any belly pictures to show yet although it has definitely started popping out here in the last few days. Please don't think I'm a bad mom for showing his boy parts off to the world. This will be the only one because, believe me, I'm all about modesty, but I just wanted you all to share in the excitement of the day.

We're having a baby!

I know it seems we have had so much good news to share lately and we feel beyond blessed but we finally get to share what we've been waiting to share for a little while now - we're expecting our first child on February 11, 2010!! I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and am feeling great besides just being a lot more tired than usual and enjoying lots of cheese and crackers and sour patch kids. I will definitely share more details throughout the pregnancy and maybe even a few belly pictures along the way. But first, I want to share a sweet ultrasound picture of our little one. Please keep us in your prayers during this special time! We are ecstatic and in love with this little baby already.

I got the job!

Just a quick update to say that I did get the job (my good friend Katie pointed out I need to update the blog more often)!! I will be teaching fourth grade language arts (and probably social studies as well) next year at Claxton Elementary - just a mile from our house. What a blessing...of all the places to have an opening and after all the people that applied for the position I am believing firmly this is the Lord's will for me. I have never prayed so hard ever, that the Lord would put the person He wanted in this position even if that wasn't me, and when the principal called I was expecting him to say he was going in a different direction but he actually said "would you like to come work for me?" Wow - I was shocked and surprised. That seems to be happening a lot lately in our little family - the Lord moving us to GA and the changes that have come along with our move. I am the only new teacher to be hired this year in a school with close to 90 teachers. In fact, the principal told me today that the new teacher orientation to be held next week will be for me and me alone - talk about some one on one attention! But I am very thankful for the way it has all worked out. This year will hold challenges I am sure but I know the Lord will work each one out. Pray that I will be ready to receive these precious children on August 5th in a just a few short weeks. More updates to come soon...I promise! :)

A VERY random list of updates...

I'm not very good at writing short, frequent posts. In fact, if I blog once a month it is unusual for me. So, it seems every time I write my posts are long and often about life-changing decisions/events and I promise every day is really not a soap opera at our house. Well, I can't promise there won't be more of those in the future ("life-changing events" posts) but tonight I'm going to just try to list same random things that are going on in our world since it's been so long... :)

1. We arrived in Claxton, GA at the end of May and moved into the gigantic church parsonage. We have never lived in such a big space but we are definitely enjoying it. We are slowly going to make a few changes and paint a few rooms but overall it already feels like home. Pictures to come later....

2. We really like GA. Stephen said the other night, "I'm really happy here" and I definitely agree. The church and community have embraced us and while ministry is definitely not easy anywhere, we know that we are going to learn a lot during our time here. Stephen is the student minister so we're working with children and youth and he's even going to fill in and preach from time to time as needed. He's preaching this coming Sunday morning and we are really excited about it (plus Stephen's parents are coming to visit and hear him preach which will be a lot of fun to have them here)!

3. This town has very few restaurants (really few everything - this is small town USA) so we are eating at home more which is good and also we have less choices when we do eat out: "do you want to go to the pizza place or the sandwich place?" is kind of the standard question. It's a lot harder to be indecisive about things with less choices. Speaking of eating at home: I made this chicken, broccoli, biscuit casserole thing the other night and substituted all these ingredients for ones that I didn't have in the recipe. Surprisingly it turned out really good so I just made a recipe card with my own version for the future. I felt like a chef for about 5 seconds and then realized it's a casserole which is not exactly fine dining. :)

4. We got our GA driver's licenses the other day. This is Stephen's first out-of-state license so I think he is mourning now that it doesn't say Alabama. I came quite close to passing out during the experience. Apparently, my blood sugar plummeted at the exact moment that my time to take my picture finally came up. I felt myself break out into a full body sweat, knees buckled, and felt myself starting to go down. Thankfully a Sprite full of sugar came to the rescue but then I had to go back to waiting again to take my picture....I definitely didn't mean to be the center of attention in the DMV but I definitely got some stares. 

5. VBS is starting tomorrow! We are praying that lives will be changed and children will come to know the Lord. Pray for Stephen because I know he is feeling a lot of pressure trying to make sure all the details are accounted for and everything falls into place. He's doing a GREAT job and I'm very proud of his organization. I'm teaching the music and "movement" aka dancing - God really does have a sense of humor sometimes! :)

6. This summer we have visited in AL with Stephen's family and got to see sweet Jonathan roll over for the first time and hang out at their house in Gadsden one last time before his parents moved! We got to visit my family in SC. We got to hang out with my Mom and one day went to the waterpark and rode around the lazy river seriously 500 times. We got to see my Dad for Father's Day and hike on the Palmetto trail. We really had such special, sweet visits with our families and I felt really thankful for the time we shared with them.

7. Stephen and I spent a couple of days in Pawley's Island, SC and had a great time just hanging out together. We swam in the pool, walked on the beach, and ate at some yummy restaurants. We got to talk about life and laughed about many things - it's only been about 2 1/2 years since we got married but we just don't remember what life was like before each other. I don't want to remember it... Here we are at the Dixie Stampede. It was so much fun!

8. We got text messaging on our phones for the first time since we've been married. I know it seems small but we are loving it. I enjoy my text message marathons every Monday night with my sister as we watch the bachelorette (although I'm embarrassed to admit that I faithfully watch it). Her commentary is quite entertaining. 

9. Several people have offered us puppies. We are trying to stay strong but today the offer was a yellow lab and Stephen is feeling very weak...pray for us. 

10. I will be celebrating a quarter of a century in a few days...I hope it's not all downhill from here but I do find myself more winded on the elliptical these days which is not a good sign...:) Either way, I'm thankful for 25 years of life. 

11. The job situation has been quite interesting for me since we've arrived here. I guess we moved during the worst economic time in recent history and unfortunately even teachers are struggling to find jobs. There haven't been any openings in this county or all of the surrounding counties in either the private or public schools since we moved here until this past week when an elementary position opened up right here in Evans county. I have been contacted for an interview along with many other applicants for this ONE position... In the past I think I would have been crushed and anxious at this point in July at just the fact that I didn't know what I would be doing in August about a job. But I'm not crushed and if I do not get this job I will not be heartbroken. God is working out so many details in our lives and doing so many great things and for the first time I simply do not know what I want to happen or what is best for me right now. There are advantages to getting the job and (believe it or not) to not getting the job at this time in my life. I don't know if God's plan is for me to teach this year and so all I can do is pray that God would fill this teaching position with the person that He wants there and that He would use me as He desires. I just pray that I will be satisfied with whatever the outcome and that God would use all of this somehow to bring glory to Him. I've wasted too much time in life equating success and achievement with self-worth and forgetting that every good thing is from Him and because of Him. God has blessed me with so many things - and regardless of whether I get this teaching position I can praise Him for His faithfulness. I'm being vague but I will explain much more later...God is providing perfect peace and I'm thankful for HIS perfect timing...

And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way home...

Tomorrow is the big day that we will pull out of Wake Forest towards Georgia and since we are so blessed to have a professional moving company provided for us by our new church (not that my father and father-in-law weren't extremely wonderful and professional during our last move), we have had a lot of extra time on our hands the last few days and we have thoroughly enjoyed it. 

We went from working and studying for school all the time to bein

g done with work and school and looking for things to entertain ourselves. I'm trying to enjoy these lazy days knowing they will not last much longer...

So, while other people have been boxing up our belongings (which makes me feel rather guilty) we have been amusing ourselves with Memorial Day TV Marathons (until our TV got packed), running in the rain (by accident), and chasing each other around the house. 

Last night in the midst of our chase, Stephen dodged the entertainment center but hit his toe on the coffee table.

This was his toe this morning: (he says it looks worse than it feels)

I'm pretty convinced that it is broken but according to my mother-in-love (whom we seek advice from on following God, to injuries, to reality TV and really so much more) and of course self-diagnosing on Web MD (did I ever tell you the story about how I thought my hair was falling out weeks before the wedding and I was going to be a bald bride? anyway, I digress...), there is nothing that we can really do other than to just let it heal. 

I guess we should have heeded our mothers' advice when they said "no running in the house..." but Stephen is also happy that our new house will have larger more open spaces should we ever accidently play tag in the house again... :)

Keeping Our Tent Posts Shallow

Last year in the early Spring when we were still living in New Orleans, Dr. Crosby preached a sermon at First Baptist New Orleans one morning about "keeping your tent posts shallow" and the last few weeks God has continually been bringing that sermon and that particular phrase (one that I thought I had forgotten) back to my mind. The sermon was from Genesis 12 and how "Abraham hears the call of God to leave his homeland and make a journey to an unknown place. He responds in faith to this mysterious directive from an unseen God."

 It was a couple months after that sermon was preached that we would sense that God was calling us to leave New Orleans and to move to North Carolina for whatever it was that he Had planned for us here. So, without jobs and actually without even our acceptance letters to Southeastern Seminary in hand yet, we moved everything that we had to make this big change that we knew very clearly that God was asking us to make. People have often asked us "Why did you leave New Orleans?" and we usually just laugh (because how do you explain that in 30 seconds) and say something like "we sensed God was drawing our time to a close there" or "we just knew that He was leading us away from New Orleans." It's very difficult to explain God's plans and His ways in a way that seems to fit into a perfectly packaged rational plan for ourselves (or even other's plans for ourselves). Our ways are definitely not God's and we have learned that it is very hard to explain following God in a way that seems acceptable to the world. 

This year in Wake Forest has been a year of learning, growing, and seeing first hand how God provides for our every need. It has not been an easy year but I know that we are different (and hopefully better) because of it and I believe that God has grown us up in many ways. God provided us a chance to serve at Good Hope Baptist Church where I served full-time as a children's director. Early into our time there, Stephen and I often talked about how many years we thought we would stay there and even if it would be God's plan to provide Stephen a position there as well after seminary. We even thought into the future and talked about how hard it would be the day that we ever had to move on and say goodbye to some very wonderful people. The story of our time at Good Hope is one filled with ups and downs and highs and lows as you would expect with any ministry position. It is a church and a year in our lives that we will never forget and it's an experience that we have had that will likely impact who we are in ministry (and in life) and many of the decisions that we make in ministry (and in life) will likely be shaped by all that we have learned through it. Some people know many of the stories and details of our time in North Carolina (and some know few) but I don't know that anyone will ever be able to fully understand all that we learned and in the ways that we learned it except for Stephen and I. And I'm okay that. I'm learning better to share my grief and my joy with Christ and let Him quiet my heart. I can't sum up  in a few simple words all that God has taught me personally this year - I don't know that I have any words sufficient enough to explain what has happened in my heart. In fact, I think I will be processing long after our time in North Carolina... 

But, I have learned (lived) this year that God is always faithful and that His love for us is beyond comprehension. I've begged for His perfect peace and I've felt it when I needed it most. I have learned once again that life is not fair and that sometimes (sometimes but now always) pleasing God means biting your tongue rather than fighting to be right and that by doing that you are doing the "right" thing. I have watched Stephen serve tirelessly and without one complaint (I'm serious) alongside of me in this ministry and I know that because of this experience I will be a better wife and helpmate for him through all of the years of ministry that we have ahead. I know that as a result of this year I will pray more diligently for him, express my words of appreciation and respect more often, and support and defend him more fiercely. We've learned a lot in this year about ourselves and who we are and who we are not. And I'm learning to be okay with that (especially the "who I'm not" part). I also know that as much as I would never want to do this year over that I would never change it for anything because I have already begun to see how God has worked it for good. 

So, I guess this is a lot of build up to just say what we haven't really been able to share for a while:

At the end of May we will be picking up our "tent" again and moving to Claxton, GA where Stephen has the awesome responsibility to serve as the Student Minister to the children and youth of FBC. Do we have questions about all the details? Yes. Do we wonder why God is moving us to the third place of ministry in our 2 years of marriage? Yes. Do we wonder if we are crazy? Yes. Do we hope that this will be a place that God will allow us to serve for many years? a resounding Yes! Do we trust that God knows the plans He has for us? Yes and we'll follow Him wherever he leads. 

We'll finish seminary (though it may take us longer than others and that is okay with us) through extension centers, online classes, and workshops. Stephen will serve at the church and I will teach (if a position is open) you can pray about that or actually you can just pray that God will place me where He wants me. We will live and enjoy life and try to to say much less than we do now "we'll do that one day --  after seminary" because life is not promised to us and each day is a gift. And we'll just trust God -- whatever is ahead....

There is a part of me that longs to feel at home somewhere. I think that is normal, especially for women. But Dr. Crosby's sermon reminded me that Abraham was a sojourner and that "he lived one day at a time, one campsite at a time." And that is the kind of faith that I long to have -- "to keep my eyes on the city with foundations whose builder and maker is God." This world is not our home. Our home is in Him  and as we sang this morning in church: 

I was lost in utter darkness 'til You came and rescued me
I was bound by all my sin when Your love came and set me free
Now my soul can sing a new song, now my heart has found a home
Now Your grace is always with me
And I'll never be alone

Your prayers mean so much to us.

Love, Kassi and Stephen