God's timing sometimes seems like a peculiar thing to us. His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and so I've learned somewhere along the way in my faith journey to just trust that He ultimately knows best. He is the artist and He sees the full picture in a way that I, in my limited being, simply can't this side of heaven. The last two years we've prayed and waited for many things and the answers to those petitions have looked different each time. We've grown through waiting and we've grown through seeing Him answer in miraculous ways. But in every way God chose to answer, we've grown -- and we've tried to be quick to thank Him for giving us what He knew was best for us (not necessarily what we wanted). We've seen Him provide for our every need when logic, reason, and just simple mathematics did not add up or balance. That's the kind of God that He is. More than our efforts and more than any comfort or "security" that comes from this world. He is more. But more than that, He is enough.
We wondered about His timing once again as we watched along with the rest of the country yesterday afternoon as storms tore through Oklahoma City and we tried to make sense of the heartbreak, loss, and destruction in the lives of so many. Ironically, as we watched in disbelief the painful images on the television screen in our living room, one of the final answers to our prayers, what we had probably viewed as the answer of all answers in this long journey, arrived simultaneously in our mailbox. A long awaited day that we had always imagined would be followed with celebration, what seemed like an ending to a lengthy trial and storm in our lives and a sense of closure to this particularly painful chapter, was rather anticlimactic in light of this literal storm wreaking havoc on everyone in it's path.
Do we view the events of life as simply happenstance or coincidence or as believers do we seek to understand the lessons to be learned in God's perfect timing? I am far from a Biblical scholar. I'm really just very ordinary in many ways. But as I reflected on the timing of these two simultaneous events, I felt God speaking a few simple truths to my heart:
1. There will always be another storm. Sometimes the storms may come as a result of sin or poor choices in our life or the lives of others close to us, and sometimes making sense of life's storms goes beyond just the reality of sin. The storms of life may be equivalent to an afternoon thunderstorm at times (daily challenges or inconveniences to overcome) and sometimes they may come with a force that brings about catastrophic results in our life and everyone in it's wake. The question isn't whether the storms will come, because they most certainly will. God has taught me in the last few years that more importantly is what my response will be to the storm when it does come. God has allowed me some insight into myself as I have walked through this (I think, safe to say) life-altering journey the last few years and one thing that I've learned is that I have great difficulty trusting others at times (and probably rightly so) and it can certainly feel easier to just shut down and simply depend on myself rather than to have to know the pain of feeling alone or forgotten (or unworthy of love) in those times of need in my life. But I've also learned that one result of my inability to fully trust others at times, created an inability for me to fully depend on and trust God with the details of my life as well. I think it's wise (not pessimistic) to have a healthy understanding that people close to us are going to let us down from time to time just as we will, likewise, let others down as well. But regardless of the hurts and disappointments that we face, God will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). He will not let us down. He is always in our corner. So we can trust -- in the only one that is fully trustworthy.
Some trust in chariots or some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7
2. He is always the answer that we seek. Through God's timing in His answer to our prayers, we discovered that the ultimate answer, the answer of all answers, was not really what we thought it was all along. Had he answered this final request in this chapter of our lives more quickly, our circumstances and decisions (and next few years of our lives) could look far different than what they will now. He knows best and we just need to rest in that. It's so simple and yet so hard - to not do a thing. Just to trust and obey. And rest. He is the answer that we seek and He is bigger than a document, or a paycheck, or a job offer. He is bigger and better than it all.
-----------
Stephen and I have always had a good relationship and a good marriage, but the stress and trials of life can certainly bring about seasons in a marriage that are clearly more difficult and challenging than others. The last few weeks, God has really just brought a time of renewed closeness and joy (and fun and laughter!) in our marriage. I am thankful for the last few weeks of just laughing together, because we have a baby that will be arriving within days or weeks at most (if he has just an ounce of the stubbornness and persistence in his DNA as the rest of our little crew it will probably be weeks!) and I know firsthand how a newborn and lack of sleep definitely shakes things up for a while (and responses can be short and grumpiness can abound, if we aren't careful!). I'm thankful for the many, many lessons that I have learned the last two years. But one of the things that I'm most thankful for is the recognition that while Stephen and I will likely offend each other countless times throughout the next 186 years of marriage and life together, we can and will overcome anything if we are committed to the God who can enable us to love with a love "that covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)
We eagerly await the arrival of our new baby boy, our Jude, whose name aptly means "praise" and "thanks." The timing of this most precious gift of new life in our family will be a huge part of our testimony (in the tiniest of packages!) to the gratitude that flows freely from our hearts for who God has has been to us in this difficult season -- and to who He has been to us always and who He always will be. I will give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. Psalm 86:12
What a journey this has been - a (sometimes difficult but) joyful journey! Whatever the circumstances and regardless of the storms that come our way for as long as we are given another day of life on this earth, may there always be joy in the journey!
No comments:
Post a Comment