We're still here! (meaning Jude is still snug and warm in his Mama's belly!)
Today we are exactly one week from our scheduled induction date (3 weeks ago I never thought we'd make it to this point!), and the closer we get to that date the more I am just planning on a June 11th birthday for our little guy. This is just what my babies do (bless all of our souls!)! I would love to go into labor in the next few days on my own, but I am also comfortable and at peace with bringing on labor at the hospital two days before my due date if that just doesn't happen (particularly since I have made so much progress on my own already).
 |
| 38 weeks and 5 days (just one week away!) |
We have been trying to share some special times with our precious firstborn the last few days, knowing that this season of our life, as a family of three, is quickly drawing to a close. I have been snapping lots of pictures on my phone of all of these final, sweet moments together and sharing them in excess via instagram. Here are a few I thought I'd share on the blog as well:
 |
| A final zoo trip before Jude :) |
 |
| City Fest - a fun, free event in our area |
 |
| We took advantage of the kid's summer movie program one time before we have a (hopefully!) sleeping newborn along with us the next time. |
I am so excited about welcoming our second child (I truly hope it doesn't sound like I'm mourning the end of this season!), but it is just an emotional time (whew, the tears have been freely flowing without warning lately!) of recognizing that life is inevitably going to change and things will forever be different (in the same way that life changed for our little family of two when James entered our world for the better!). We have just been a little team that last three years and even in the hardest days and most difficult moments that I've ever known, we have walked them together - the three of us!
I never planned on having such a large gap between our first two children, but it was God's plan for us and I truly have been content with being the mother to one precious boy these last three years and four months. I have just loved and cherished every second of our time together - every snuggle, every laugh, and even every challenge. We have shared such precious moments together as mother and son, and I thank God every day for the special relationship that James and I have. It is the kind of relationship that I've always wanted to have with my children (I pray for the same special bond with my sweet Jude!), and I pray that God would continue to bless it and strengthen it all of our days. He isn't a perfect child and I'm not a perfect mother, but it is my greatest joy to be entrusted with his care. I may be accused of making too much of motherhood, but I hope I always err on the side of making too much of it than not enough. Every morning when I hear a little voice calling for "Maaaaamaaaaa!" (and he is never happy to settle for anyone else!) as soon as he awakens in the bed (and some days when I'm struggling with my own selfishness and wishing he would just come to me on his own just this one morning when I feel particularly tired), I remember an article that I came across a while ago that said:
I won’t always be close enough to hear the call.
And if I don’t answer it now, it will cease coming.
How do we decide who gets our yes and who our no? Who can
take disappointment and who cannot—or should not? Here’s what I find:When the
call is one only I can answer, I must say yes.
“Mama!” Oh, how sweet that summons, the name I have earned
through the sacrifice of my body, the laying down of my rights to so many
things, the nights of rocking, the hours of feeding, the days of worry when he
is sick, the planning and praying and petitioning . The cry he makes because I
have answered before and there is no one else who is “Mama.” The one I answer
still, even through the days when the very compulsion to do so grates my
selfish soul.
This reminder has come to my mind often in those situations when I've been tempted to say "no" when there isn't single good reason in the world not to say "yes." Lord, help me to be the best Mama that I can be for these two little lives you've so graciously shared with me.
Just one week away from learning to divide and balance my "yes" and my "time" and my every everything... Lord, help me to make as much of motherhood as you ever intended. Help me to sacrifice and to offer my life to these precious boys unselfishly, recognizing that no one else can take the place of what you designed me to be to them. Enable me to answer "yes" to their calls (and cries!) in a way that will never hinder their understanding of how You (their perfect parent) listen, answer, love, and care for them.
One more week ... until there's two. I can't wait.
