I want to Rediscover You...

Quite often it seems that James and I find ourselves having church at home on Sundays. It is definitely not ideal but some days it seems to work out that he will be ready to eat as soon as church starts and it would be much easier to stay at home and watch a podcast rather than go to church to then go immediately find a quiet, private place to nurse.

Yesterday I pulled up a David Platt sermon to watch on my computer while I was feeding James. James would hardly eat he was so distracted and watched intently with me. I know his fascination was the lights and sounds on the computer but it did make me voice a prayer that he would learn to listen for God's voice one day just as intently as he focused on my laptop screen as we watched a sermon together.

I learn so much from James. I love the stage that he is in now so curious about everything. He watches and studies faces, pictures, t-shirts...really anything and everything. There is something about his childlike wonder than makes me think about coming to Jesus like a little child and makes me miss that young teenage girl that came to Jesus like a little child feeling like He was all that I had,wanted, and needed in the world. I was passionate, bold, and intentional. I miss that girl and feel like sometimes I hardly recognize her anymore. It was that relationship with Jesus that lead me towards a Christian school, to work Christian camps, to meet and marry a godly man, and even attend seminary and somehow in all of those things I feel like in some ways I've just lost that intimate, personal relationship with my Creator that I so need. Praise Him that He continues to use the events and circumstances of life to draw us to Himself.

I heard this song on XM yesterday morning after watching this sermon and felt like it just summed up exactly where I am at right now. This is my prayer right now - to Rediscover Him.

Rediscover You by Starfield:

I need to just admit
my faith is paper thin
I'm feeling so burned out
On religion

I say an empty prayer
I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion's gone

And I want to get it back

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

I want to learn to pray
The way that David prayed
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don't want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

Lord, I want to be Yours today
I want to know the passion of the saints
And how they were changed

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move

I want to burn for You
Bring me back to life, Jesus
Help me rediscover You