Joah,
I'm feeling every kind of emotion as I write this first birthday letter to you, my third darling son. It doesn't seem possible that I'm doing this already (and for the third time!), and yet there have been so many sweet memories packed into this first year that it just feels like you've been here forever too. What a gift that you are forever our little boy! I knew immediately (seriously!) after the birth of your brother, Jude, that as long as the Lord willed it there would be a "you." And although I never could have known who you would be in all my dreaming about you, I knew unmistakably that God had put a desire deep down in my heart to mother you and to love you with the most magnificent love that a Mama has for her child; the kind of love that has healed me in so many ways and helped me understand God's tender love for His children. That's a pretty special thing about being a third baby, my sweet Jo. While I may not be confident in everything or many things, I did know, having given birth twice before you, the depths of love that I would feel for you long before you were even in my arms and more than with any of the other boys I just allowed myself to truly enjoy this first year of your life. And, oh, how you've enjoyed your first year too! So often you've just been along for the ride through soccer games, field trips, youth group outings, and grocery store trips (to name a few!), and, yet, just to be a part of us has brought you great joy! You've delighted in the simplicity of the everyday blessings of family: watching your big brothers playing, noisy meals in our kitchen after Jude sings "God our Father" or James sings "The Books of the Bible," bouncing around in the baby carrier as I chase down your brothers (it felt like a ride for you too! And it was!), cheers for your brothers turned cheers for you as you've reached so many milestones this year with such joy in your eyes and in your smile. Whether we were getting out of the van to walk into Magic Kingdom or Publix, your smile was just the same for the simple joy of being with us, being cared for, and being loved. Your life has been a reminder of the value of simply being together, of home, of belonging, and of being fully accepted in a family where you always fit. And you always will belong with us. You're the piece that fits perfectly in the puzzle of our family that we didn't even know was missing until you were here.
Happy First Birthday, Joah Lakes! On May 4, 2015 at 12:43 p.m. a beautiful, tiny, dark-headed bundle was placed into my arms with a cry that was somehow familiar and just sounded "like one of my babies" and I let the overwhelming feeling of grace upon grace (because you were here; such a perfect and undeserved gift!) sink deep, deep down into my heart. In that moment I simultaneously recognized your "voice" as "mine" and God's voice as His, and I knew that that the best gift that I could ever give you was to teach you how to listen to His voice all of your days. That is my prayer for you, little "brother of God."
27 nMy sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 oI give them eternal life, and pthey will never perish, and qno one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-28
We love you forever, Joah. I pray that God would grant me many, many birthday celebrations with you (and your Daddy and big brothers)! There could never be enough days with you, but I vow to make each day count in the simple and the big.
Love, Mama
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