Jude's Birth Story (Better late than never!)

I wanted to go ahead and record Jude's birth story before any more time passes. I didn't expect it to take almost three whole months before I found the time to write it all down, but I guess it's better that I record it late than not at all. A few weeks before Jude was born, I came across an idea on a blog to have your husband record the details and events of labor and delivery from his perspective. I knew that it was something that I wanted to have him do this time around, because during James' birth experience a lot of the details were foggy for me afterwards (probably from all the pain of my epidural not taking, just all the joy and emotions when he finally arrived, and then days followed by sleep deprivation, etc.) It's so fun to look back at the things that Stephen recorded. While most of his notes are pretty straight-forward and bulleted (as opposed to sappy and sentimental, like a woman's account would be), it means a lot to me to have this record of what was happening on the day that Jude was born. 

My Precious Jude,

I wanted to write an account of the day that you were born. I hope that one day, when you are much older, you will delight in hearing about how you came to be in our family and all that joy that we felt the instant that we heard your first little cry and saw your sweet little face.

When I was around 36 weeks pregnant with you, the doctor informed me that I was making a lot of progress and your arrival could be much earlier than we expected. This didn't completely surprise me, because the same thing had happened three years earlier with your brother, James. Hearing this news made me a little more anxious in the days that followed and much harder to be patient as we waited for you. I prayed often that God would fill me with His peace, and that He would remove my anxious thoughts in regards to the details of your arrival. I was often fearful when I thought about the possibility of going into labor while Daddy was working, and I worried about getting to the hospital without him (all while taking care of your brother). Although I continued to have some regular contractions in the days that followed, they never were enough to send me into active labor. We decided because of the long hours at Daddy's job and because of the progress that had already been made, we would schedule an induction for Tuesday, June 11 at 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant with you.

On June 4th, the day before our 38 week doctor appointment, your Aunt Leah informed us that Friday, June 7th was National Doughnut Day and we joked about what a fun birthday that would be and how much we would love for you to come on that day. I had always predicted that June 7th would be your birthday, although I wasn't sure why. And even after we scheduled your induction for June 11th, I still felt that you would come earlier on the 7th. The next day at our doctor's appointment, we joked with Dr. Conti about National Doughnut Day and the possibility of you arriving that day instead. After examining me and finding that I had made even more progress since the week before and was now dilated to 4, she decided to move our induction up to Friday, June 7. She had plans to go out of town that afternoon, but she wasn't concerned because she felt that you would come very quickly. We were excited and so thankful that we would be holding you in just two short days and that Dr. Conti would definitely be in town to help us welcome you.

After the exciting news at our doctor's appointment, we tried to make the most of the day while Daddy was already off work. The boys got haircuts, we took James on a special trip to Pump It Up (the bouncy house place near our house), and just made sure our suitcase was ready and other last minute details were taken care of. The day before your arrival, Daddy went to tie up loose ends at work and James and I spent the day at the neighborhood pool. We grilled steaks for dinner that night and tried to all get in bed around 8:00 because we had to arrive at the hospital at 3:00 the next morning. I didn't feel well that evening, was contracting a lot, and wondered if I might go into labor on my own without having to be induced. It was also difficult to fall asleep that night with the anticipation of your arrival the next day. And at one point I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and couldn't go back to sleep. I felt overwhelmed to have been blessed with the gifts of you and your brother, and I also felt burdened to pray for several friends that came to mind that had lost babies or were waiting to add to their family through conception or adoption. I prayed for each one as their situation came to mind and also for your safety and protection during those last hours in my womb.

We woke up at 2:00 the next morning and your Nana and Grandpa arrived at 2:15 to stay with James while he slept. We arrived at the hospital at 3:00 and met Brandy who admitted me and got me hooked up to all the necessary monitors and to the pitocin that would begin to induce labor. By 4:00, everything was in place and we were just waiting for you to arrive. Daddy also got a call around this time from Nana and Grandpa that James woke up at 4:20 saying that "Jude is coming soon!" They were headed to the hospital at 4:40 a.m. They arrived at around 5 a.m. and James was so excited. I was glad to be able to spend some time with him and to give him a bag with that I had put together with snacks and activities, incase the day was long for him. Throughout the morning James came in and out of the hospital room and each time he returned he would ask "Is Jude out of your tummy yet?" It made me smile and I thought it was so sweet.

At 7:00 a.m. I met, Carolyn, the nurse that would be with me until your delivery. Dr. Conti loved her and requested her for me. She was wonderful and we had the best conversations that morning! James also got tired and antsy around this time and went down to the playroom with Nana and Grandpa. At 7:30 a.m. I started to feel pretty bad and they sent the anesthesiologist  to give me an epidural to help with the pain. Daddy was asked to leave the room for this part (I think it was a hospital policy), and so he went down to check on James who had fallen asleep in the hospital playroom. The anesthesiologist was a Christian and was very kind to me as he answered my questions about risks, side-effects, and the possibility of the epidural not taking like it did with James. Our conversation led to us discussing tough decisions as parents and ultimately God's sovereignty in them all and the hope that we have in Jesus even in difficult circumstances. I felt led to tell him your name, sweet boy. I told him that Jude meant "praise" and that we had made a choice to praise God for who He had been to us during a very difficult season of our life. We wanted your name to be a testimony of the road we had traveled leading up to you. He thanked me for sharing that with him and also said that it was the longest he had ever stayed in a room administering the epidural. I apologized but he joked that usually women are in pain and just screaming at him to "hurry up!" and it was a nice change to actually have a conversation. Apparently I'm a talker even while contracting and in pain. :)

Dr. Conti came back to check on me at 8:10 a.m. I was now dilated to a 5 and she decided to go ahead and break my water at that point. Daddy came back carrying your sleeping, big brother along with Nana and Grandpa shortly after they broke my water, and Daddy fell asleep for a while too. I was happy for them to sleep, because I figured we had quite a few hours ahead of us until I would be dilated to 10. But at 9:15 a.m. I started to feel some back pain and was afraid that my epidural was not working again, and I called for my nurse, Carolyn. The pain I described prompted her to check me (although she had planned to wait another hour) and she realized the pressure I was feeling was because I was complete and ready to push. I immediately began crying just overwhelmed that everything happened so much faster than I imagined and at the thought of finally meeting my baby boy.

Carolyn called for Dr. Conti, who was at the office seeing patients, to come over to the hospital to help with your delivery. I started pushing at around 9:30 a.m. to "keep moving in the right direction" but Daddy informed me later that Carolyn was asking me just to do a lot of tiny pushes to make sure that you didn't arrive before Dr. Conti could get there. Dr. Conti arrived a little after 10:00 a.m. and began to help in coaching me through the final pushes. As you were arriving, everyone commented on how much hair you had! Daddy also told me that I said several funny things as well, like I did during the delivery with James, although I was determined not to this time. This time I told everyone that I loved them as opposed to asking "Do you love him?" over and over like I did with James. I also said "I need a doughnut after this..." - go figure! I also remembering telling everyone that I was going to be very emotional, and I definitely did not disappoint. You arrived at 10:26 a.m with your distinct, squeaky little cry (the most precious sound!) and I cried tears of joy as I saw you lifted up in the air. At the first glimpse of your sweet face I remember saying "He's so different than James" and Dr. Conti responded "And they will be probably continue to be different in so many ways." (She has three preschool aged boys of her own!) They wiped you off, weighed and measured you, and laid you on my chest. I was surprised to hear you weighed 8 pounds, 4 ounces (but I wasn't shocked, because Mama and Daddy were both bigger than that at birth), were 20.5 inches long, and had a head circumference of 14 inches. According to my EDD,  you were 6 days early but I think you came right on time! I remember looking into your sweet face and telling you "I love you" over and over.

Mama and Daddy got to spend a little bit of time with you, and then the nurses sent the lactation consultant to my room to help establish a good start with nursing you. And then shortly after nursing you for the first time, Grandma K (who made it to the hospital from South Carolina right before you arrived), Nana and Grandpa, and James came back to the room to meet you. Everyone was so excited to see you, especially your big brother. Having you and James in my arms as he touched your little nose and admired you, finally outside of my tummy, was one of the most precious, fulfilling moments of my life. We were now a family of four and you instantly fit with us just perfectly, filling an empty spot that we didn't even know was there before but a spot that would forever feel empty, from this moment forward, to not have you in it.

Everyone got a chance to hold you and take pictures with you throughout the next several hours. As you slept your face and mannerisms reminded me so much of James and you began to look so much more like your big brother than that initial glimpse of you, but now as I write this, almost three months later, I can see the similarities that identify you with our family, but I also see the unique little boy that you are too. You have your own look, your own personality, and your own way that is much different than your brother. And neither one is better or preferred; I love you both for who you are and who God made you. My heart just swelled to love you in a way that I never could have understood until you arrived. There is more than enough love for you both. And everyday I love you more. When you smile at me or look to me (and even when you cry), my heart can almost not contain the love that I feel for you. You are my joy.

We thank God for your birth and your life, our little praise baby. We praise God for knitting you together in my womb. We praise God for a smooth, uncomplicated delivery and recovery that didn't require me to take any pain medication afterwards (with your brother it made me so loopy and out of sorts). We praise God that you are healthy and thriving. We praise God for ordaining your life and your story. I thank God that He saw fit to place you in this family and for choosing me to mother you. For these things (and so much more!), I will always be grateful. That is the story of your birth, Jude Brooks. And I thank God for all the life that is ahead with you. I pray your life story would bring glory to Jesus! I pray that it would be as full and abundant as God intended. Always know that you are loved and accepted by your family and most of all by Jesus. I pray that one day soon you will trust Him with your heart and your life. He matters above all else.

I Love You Forever,
 Mama