Bless the Lord, O My Soul

This week marked an anniversary of the hardest day that we have ever experienced in our family. As we anticipated it's coming, we knew it would be an emotionally difficult day. I read recently on a precious friend's blog something that her Christian-counseling husband had shared with her about trauma and anniversaries (hopefully she won't mind me sharing): "how trauma can bury it's history in your cells and your body remembers." I so identify with that statement. I lived that and felt that this week. And as we grieved the loss that took place a year ago, our hearts were also heavy and burdened by new tragedy, the death of someone in our extended family, on the eve of that anniversary. The intermingling of the remembering of past trauma with the freshness of this tragic loss a year later weighed so heavily on me. I felt like a ball of so many different emotions this week.

And then the Lord literally placed this song in my heart yesterday. James and I sang it over and over throughout the day.

While our life definitely still doesn't feel "normal" yet, I can reflect on all the ways God has brought about good from what seemed like complete devastation this time last year. He is good, sovereign over all (the word that God continually placed on the lips of his people to encourage me this week), and there truly are 10.000 reasons to sing of his goodness. It was good for my heart to name those yesterday and to be reminded of who He truly is.

As I was reflecting on the lyrics to that song, I came across some thoughts that I had poured out on paper just days after great loss last year when I was in the pit of despair. And it struck me immediately as I read them and remembered, it was Psalm 103 that I had read over and over again this time last year when I felt so lost, weak, and weary. Those were the words that had brought me such great comfort -the very Psalm/song that God put in my heart one year later. I am amazed! He is good. He is gracious. He is soverign. And even when we can't understand or even if we never understand, He is in control. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!"

Bless the Lord, O My Soul

Of David.

103 yBless the Lord, O my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

2 yBless the Lord, O my soul,

and zforget not all his benefits,

3 who aforgives all your iniquity,

who bheals all your diseases,

4 who credeems your life from the pit,

who dcrowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

5 who esatisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like fthe eagle's.

6 The Lord works grighteousness

and justice for all who are oppressed.

7 He made known his hways to Moses,

his iacts to the people of Israel.

8 The Lord is jmerciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

9 kHe will not always chide,

nor will he lkeep his anger forever.

10 He does not deal with us maccording to our sins,

nor repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For nas high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his osteadfast love toward pthose who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he qremove our transgressions from us.

13 As ra father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion pto those who fear him.

14 For he knows our frame;1

he sremembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like tgrass;

he flourishes like ua flower of the field;

16 for vthe wind passes over it, and wit is gone,

and xits place knows it no more.

17 But ythe steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on pthose who fear him,

and his righteousness to zchildren's children,

18 to those who akeep his covenant

and bremember to do his commandments.

19 The Lord has cestablished his throne in the heavens,

and his dkingdom rules over all.

20 Bless the Lord, O you ehis angels,

you fmighty ones who gdo his word,

obeying the voice of his word!

21 Bless the Lord, all his hhosts,

his iministers, who do his will!

22 jBless the Lord, all his works,

in all places of his dominion.

kBless the Lord, O my soul!